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**A
THING ABOUT LIFE**
PART 1
Faith closed the basement's door behind her. Turning around she was face to face with Spike's inquisitive look as he was sitting in a chair at the kitchen's table, staring straight at her.
**Ok this ain't no good at all**
"Do you know what you're doing?" He calmly said.
"What's the problem bleachy?" she retorted in her very own way but deep down she already knew what he was about to say.
"Do you have any idea of what you've just done?"
"Is it your business? I don't think so." she pretended to leave but he walked forward in front of her.
"What do you want now? Fight?"
"Don't act all bad-ass on me girl. I've been around that a little longer than you have."
She sighed and crossed her arms around her chest, "Ok so now you've seen us, so what are you waiting for? Go tell red so that she can flay me alive or if she doesn't... well, let B kick my ass then. Why are you still here?"
"Is it being around Buffy that makes you act this way? This is not what you want? Did you come here to piss her off any way you can again?" he asked with an inquisitive frown but before she replied he added, "Think about it, what did you come here for?"
**For her** Faith pushed back the thought. He smiled bitterly.
"I came here to help."
He nodded, "And is it what you've been doing since you've arrived?"
She frowned in her turn , "I really get now why you and B are hanging around together like that but there's something else here, there are lives in the house, people actually living. This girl downstairs is completely distressed. She's a potential slayer the big deal! She's also a girl, a very young girl, she's kind of the strongest of them all about that, not only physically but mentally but I don't think that's enough. These girls are crawling under the pressure and no one cares about that. She was in desperate need of comfort and tenderness that she obviously isn't receiving. There's a limit to what a human being can endure."
"And what kind of comfort and tenderness were you needing?"
"It isn't about me."
"I think it is, you're not much more than a little distressed girl yourself."
"Maybe I am."
"So then you should stop pretending you're that strong, bad ass girl."
"Whining is not my style, besides the difference is that I've endured all of this already so it's a bit late for advices."
"If it was too late you wouldn't be here. Maybe the simplest thing to do when you need comfort is actually ask for it... to the right person of course."
She looked at him inquisitively, not sure about the meaning of this sentence, she was about to talk when the basement's door opened and Kennedy entered the room. Looking at them both she slightly understood what they were talking about. She tried to look as natural as she could.
"So, is there a problem here?" she asked, ready to stand up for her actions.
"No problem Kennedy, you should go to sleep now. Training's gonna be harder tomorrow."
"You sure?" Kennedy asked glancing from Faith to Spike.
"Oh yes I garantee you it's gonna be a hell of a lot more harde-"
"-I mean about me leaving you now." Kennedy cut her, though Faith already got what she was talking about.
"It's ok I handle it, goodnight." She told her with a nice smile.
Kennedy looked a bit upset to leave her alone with Spike but she left all the same to go upstairs. Faith's smile disappeared as she looked perplexed.
"What are you talking about? Are you suggesting that you and I...?"
Spike smiled, "Not me no. Unless you're dreaming of me at night which I doubt is the case. If you want to reach somebody's heart, you have to show yours first." he moved forwards and passed by her to go downstairs in the basement.
**Jeez a pseudo-philosopher now what's next?** Faith sighed very thoughtfully though.
**I'd better go to sleep, right now, everything's a mess. What a day! Welcome to Sunnydale!**
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kennedy entered the
room very slowly as all the potentials as well as Willow were already
asleep, or at least the lights were off and everyone in bed. She
looked at the bed and saw Willow turning around so she quickly headed
towards the bathroom, afraid she was awake. And she was, she looked
sadly at Kennedy leaving for the bathroom. The brunette took a shower
as she still had the scent of the dark slayer all over her body. She
came back in her long tee shirt and discreetly slid under the covers,
on her side, facing the bedside. She felt Willow's hand on her hip
and her body moving closer, the witch tried to speak awkwardly to the
potential girl,
"Kennedy I-I wanted to t-"
"No not… don't speak I-I think… we… should sleep… now." Kennedy simply said, ill at ease too. Willow withdrew her hand upset about this whole day and the trouble in both her and Kennedy's head now. Kennedy wasn't feeling better and as she felt Willow's heart clench at her words, a few tears gathered in the back of her eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The morning was strangely silent except for the potentials, still babbling but they used to eat in the garden now or in the living room whereas Buffy, the gangs and Kennedy since her relation with Willow began, usually stayed in the kitchen.
Buffy, Xander, Anya and Dawn were having breakfast when Willow joined them in her turn and noticed Kennedy, for once, was having breakfast with other potentials in the living room. It didn't make Willow's already cranky mood, better. Faith arrived in the kitchen to notice the quite unhappy faces, at least, not much talking. Spike walked up from the basement so she decided to have her breakfast in a corner of the garden, far from all of them which didn't let the tension fall back amongst the scoobies. Dawn and Anya observed them all; Willow glancing at Kennedy, frowning at Faith, Buffy looking inquisitively at Willows' glance over Kennedy, frowning at Faith too. So both girls left the kitchen too, followed by Xander who went to sit with Faith, thinking she might need someone on her side, for real this time. But despite his will, she wasn't more talkative than the others and he wasn't able to know what the tension was all about, not that any of the others really knew for sure.
PART 2
After breakfast Buffy gathered them all in the garden.
"Ok we're gonna make 2 groups today, one will train with weapons and the other one will deal with hand to hand fight again ok? First group with Faith and second with me."
Buffy started to make the groups, "So Rona, Vi, Molly and all of you on this side of the garden you go with Faith in the basement," they were about to go when she stopped them, "Not you," they all looked at one another, "You stay in my group."
Kennedy had already guessed she was talking to her. Willow was trying hard not to think that even Buffy noticed there was something wrong between the two of them and something between Faith and Kennedy and that she was trying to help with that.
**she just needs her to help for the fighting skills** Was her forced-thought.
Kennedy walked to the other group with a whatever look on her face whereas Faith went on heading to the basement ignoring the changes.
The day went by without more problems. Kennedy and Faith did not talk with each other even once, Kennedy tried to focus on the training and Faith did the same with her group. Willow watched them both and her head kept spinning even more, she was now more thinking that she, herself, was the problem and she'd seen something just because she, indeed really needed an excuse, and she felt bad because she knew she'd hurt the younger girl.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the evening rush, that is; all the girl's taking their shower, they all ate quite in a good atmosphere in the garden; Xander and Andrew had prepared a barbecue to ease the previous tension which had already decreased a lot by the time to turn more into a kind of sad-slow feeling. So the barbecue did work in cheering up everyone's mood. Willow wanted to talk with Kennedy but she prefered to wait until there were less people, besides Kennedy was still avoiding her. Buffy and Faith as well with Xander had a few laughs together remembering old times and joking about Wesley's attitude when he first arrived there and how Faith had been surprised by his change. Buffy and Faith were quite uneasy at first but slowly became a bit more accomplice as the night went deeper. Spike didn't stay with them, he left for the basement. They all slowly went to sleep until only Willow, Buffy, Faith, Xander, Rona and Kennedy were left. Faith was still a bit ill at ease with the whole situation, being here with them, pretending to be part of the gang, laughing and just being with her, so she left saying she was very tired. Rona got up to leave too and Kennedy told her she would follow. They were in the corridor and Rona waved goodnight as she entered Dawn's room in which she was sleeping. Kennedy was at the entrance of Willow's room since she was sleeping in this one.
"'K night too." she said in a very low voice, she was about to turn the knob when she saw Willow at the bottom of the stairs. She stared at her as she was looking pryingly at her.
"Please Kennedy, I need to talk to you." Kennedy hesitated at Willow's plea, her voice was very low very low as not to wake those who were asleep already.
Kennedy walked down to meet her near the entrance door. She had her hands in her pocket as usual and was waiting for Willow to start. Willow loked nervous.
"Ok, not so easy than I thought when I repeated in my head."
Kennedy sadly said, "You know you don't have to say anything. I understand."
"No no you
don't." Willow said moving forward as she took her hand and went
on,
"Kennedy I admit you were right... about me, avoiding
things with you, most of all that thing, but it's not that I
don't want it, it's not that I don't want you Kennedy. I do."
Kennedy's eyes lightened up suddenly, "So... You like me?" she asked hopeful.
Willow put her hand
on her face, moving a lock of hair behind her ear, she caressed her
jaw, Kennedy closed her eyes and Willow moved forward and kissed her,
they kissed gently for a while and slowly pulled apart, "I more
than like you Kennedy. I feel for you... very much," she
then frowned a bit, "but it's just, things have been so
complicated or so fast I don't know. And the situation is so
critical, uneasy. And then I went to LA and there it was also kind of
a mess, it brought back memories too and I don't know... I came back
here with Faith. I don't know, I just don't know what to say apart
that I know I've hurt you and I feel so sorry for that because I l-"
Kennedy was completely focused on Willow's words and expectant for
the end of the sentence but Willow stopped and added,
"-but
please don't think I don't care for you that way cause I
pretty much do only this these days; thinking of you, and maybe that
scared me."
"It's ok Willow I understand. I got my own part, I'm the one to blame too and I-I-I did-I-"
"-Well let's forget about it all you agree?" Willow cut Kennedy's stammering and Kennedy smiled at her, "Sure I do."
"So, it's getting late."
"Yes we'd better go to bed now- I mean to sleep I didn't mean-" Kennedy stammered again and Willow said in her turn,
"I understood- not that I don't want to but there are so many people in the house right now, that's just why-"
"It's ok Willow." Kennedy gave her a delighted and knowing smile then kissed her. They pulled apart and walked up the stairs together, hand in hand. Once in bed, they stared at each other for a while and slightly kissed once more before Kennedy, thinking it was better if she actually wanted to sleep, turned herself to the other side to get Willow's angelic face out of her sight. Willow moved closer to her, matching her curves and put her arms around her waist. Kennedy intermingled her fingers with Willow's one resting on her stomach.
PART 3
~Early in the morning~
"So this one and I think they're all here. No wait, jeez they're 21 I got 20, let's do it again. Knives? here! 4, stakes 10, swords 5. Shit I really got to get back to school, of course they're not all there fuck! I gotta start it all again."
Faith was so focused on her preparation for the potentials' training and also talking to herself out loud that she didn't notice Buffy at the edge of the living room, watching her carefully, a smile slowly forming on her lips as she observed the younger slayer's monologue.
"So did you agree?"
"What?!" Faith gave a start at Buffy's voice which made the blonde smile even more.
Faith had really been unaware of her presence therefore she was asking herself what she had done, as she didn't understand Buffy's question, but by the smile on her lips, whatever it was she knew it wasn't bad and she looked at her a bit childlishy as Buffy went on, mocking a bit,
"I mean of course you agreed, isn't that the point of talking to oneself anyway? You always agree."
"Ok you got me. You know, that's a bad habit jail gives you, after a while you start having long, very long talks with the walls." Faith jokingingly said but Buffy's expression saddened a bit at these words, thinking of where Faith was just coming back from and why she was sent there in first place. Faith noticed, then continued her preparations.
"So where d'you keep the other weapons, mainly the stakes and also crossbows?"
"Oh it's there look." Buffy walked forward and opened another trunk full of weapons.
"Scored." Faith said loading a crossbow she just took. Buffy hesitated a bit.
"What d'ya wanna ask?" Faith simply told her without quiting her eyes off of her crossbow.
Buffy smiled. **she sure knows me well, always have**
"How was it?"
"Jail? Well I think I like Sunnydale better. No kiddin ya there."
They both slightly
laughed and Faith went on,
"It's a bit restrictive you know,
well, that's the point I guess. It's not that bad in fact, you can do
lots of thing and if you're like me, amongst the strongest, well
actually the strongest that can be good, otherwise it's... hopeless.
I mean those who have something to cling to, you know something,
someone outside waiting for them, a future, those ones are handling
it pretty well; taking every lessons, every job learning they can to
help pass the time and get out stronger, wiser and clever but for the
others, it's just a place where they're waiting, just waiting, to die
here or to get out to die outside but they don't really care, so
there or elsewhere, it doesn't matter."
Buffy felt a bit sad, "I'm sorry Faith."
Faith looked at her very surprised, **ok something's really wrong there, is she being so ironic that I don't see it. Yesterday ok, late night relaxation plus some beers, don't forget the beers, but now? What is she playing at!?**
"What for? Why would you pity me?"
Buffy was taken aback by the question and most of all by the answer, "Well I don't know, no I don't feel pity for you in fact," she paused and went on a bit more in control, "It depends in fact."
Faith asked very curious, "Depends on what?"
"On which category you place yourself in? Cause the second one only is pityful, the first one is on a good path."
Faith remaint silent, **both**
Buffy insisted, "So?"
"Well, maybe I've got some things left unfinished and maybe that's why I'm here, otherwise, no one... is waiting for me." **like I've waited for you to come and visit me**
"You're young, you haven't built anything yet, but-"
**jeez if she says that I will do now, have a boyfriend, then a house, then a dog, a life, I swear I join The First no kiddin!!**
Buffy realised what she was about to say
**how come I turn dumb each time I'm beside her, she has no future... just like me**
"What a waste huh?" Bufy just said.
Faith looked at her intensely and nodded, knowing, at her answer.
**I'd so much love to have been there. What must've happened here to make her become... like me**
Buffy walked back but turned around before leaving, "I'll come."
Faith didn't understand, "What?"
"To see you, I mean if we get out of this alive, it'll be different. I'll come and visit you there, sometimes." Buffy left, thoughtful, and Faith stood straight for a while, thoughtful too, but smiling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy went to the kitchen in which Willow was already drinking a cup of coffee.
"Already up?"
"Couldn't sleep anymore, what about you?"
"You know me, pretty much couldn't sleep at all."
Buffy sat at the table and pour herself a cup of coffee too then looked at Willow.
"So how is it going with Kennedy?"
"Better. I think."
"You think?"
Kennedy, who Willow's absence on the bed awoke, was going down the stairs, she slowed down when she heard her name, she walked down a bit closer and stayed in the stairs to listen to the two friends talking.
"Yes, we've talked and it's better. I had to reassure her, you know I think I've not been very fair with her these days and she started freaking out I think, so I talked to her, I don't want to hurt her. It's still so confusing in my head you know."
"Yes I can imagine that."
"It's just, you know I still love Tara so much and sometimes I miss her so terribly. It's like her absence squeezes my heart so strongly that I can't breath... it's hard."
Tears fell down Kennedy's jaws as she headed back up into her room, to the bathroom to cry while Willow went on,
"But then Kennedy looks at me and it makes it all brighter you know. It's strange and I feel my heart beat again you know. When she's close to me, that's when I know I'm alive, that's when I actually feel alive. And I think it scares me. I'm afraid it will all happen again you know, with The first coming and everything. I'd like to know I won't lose her but I think we always lose the ones we love right?" Willow's tone was resigned.
Buffy nodded, "And that's why you have to enjoy what you have when you have it."
"I'd like to, but I'm still not ok with that part though, I know it's right, but I'm afraid of myself, I don't feel good enough to bear that, I don't want to lose control again."
"Then take more time, I can't really tell you the right words cause I doubt they exist but you know that I'm here, I'll always be here for you Willow."
Willow smiled at her, "And what about you? What do you think of Faith?"
"She's changed, I didn't give her a fair chance yesterday but still, I can feel the changes and it's strange, really weird having her around. I feel some things that I long hadn't feel."
"Well I don't know what it is but it's a good thing."
"What do you mean?"
"Just that it's been long, indeed, since we've had a talk like that, I mean friend to friend and not general to soldier you know. Like yesterday evening too. And it feels good to have you back, I mean I know you have things to do and so... but having you softer for a while is a great thing too." Willow said smiling happily at her best friend and drinking her coffee again whereas Buffy, smiling too in appearance wasn't really doing so inwardly.
**softer, not the way to win, this isn't the way to go**
PART 4
The girls had been training for about 3 hours now in the garden when Buffy stood up.
"Ok girls, lunch time, it's ok for now."
They were all
happily smiling apart from Kennedy,
"No it's not ok, do you
call this a training session?!"
"What's the problem Kennedy?" Buffy replied calmly crossing her arms across her chest.
"The problem? Well apart from eating and pretending to learn something here, we're not doing anything concrete, so lunch time seems a bit out of place."
"Actually I'm
very hungry." Vi said all sheepishy and Rona added,
"Yeah
me too, what's wrong with eating a little bit, taking strength."
"Strength for what?! Another session like that this afternoon? So go stuff yourself, you'll make a bigger snack for The First!"
"Hey!" Some potentials exclaimed.
"I think that's enough Kennedy." Buffy added while Willow and Faith were slowly moving closer, not really understanding Kennedy's aggressivity, Willow mainly.
"That's precisely the point. It's not enough!! Why aren't we patrolling in cemeteries or elsewhere?! Daylight's our friend after all, and demons don't only hang around at night, we could do some actual slayage, and actual practisizing instead of waiting for the night to come and swallow us all."
"Kennedy you must understand that Buffy-"
"You're out of it Willow, The First is not coming after you! I already know your point, I wasn't expecting you to be on my side anyway!" Willow was taken aback by Kennedy's aggressive's reply and anger towards her. She didn't understand, she couldn't say a word. Buffy then said with provocation while taking her fighting position,
"Ok you wanna do some more training, go ahead, bring it on!"
"No wait!" Willow spoke again, Faith took her by the arm as she was about to intervene. Kennedy saw them and avoided Willow's pleading eyes as hers turned even more decided, she took on her fighting position too.
"Potentials, I think we said it was lunch time!" Faith exclaimed. They all more or less happily left the place. Buffy and Kennedy starting to circle around each other. Faith smiled.
**brings back memories**
Faith saw Willow's distress.
"Don't worry Will, it's just a slayer thing."
Willow replied almost like a wish, "She's not a slayer."
"Isn't she?" Faith told her very seriously and Willow looked back at the two girls as Kennedy threw herself onto Buffy who avoided her, she started again and Buffy pushed her back, the third time she threw her on the ground, Kennedy got up immediately and attacked her again.
"But why? Why does she have so much rage inside, I don't understand, I thought... I thought..." Willow understood Faith's reply before she spoke just by the look the dark slayer gave her,
"Look Will, don't get yourself mad with what I'm gonna say, but all these things you've never understood about Buffy, well, it will be the same with Kennedy, differently but the same if you get what I'm saying. But still, haven't you shared the best moments of your life with B?"
"Also the worsts." The witch said in a low voice.
"Makes you appreciate the good one- oh that must hurt." Faith cut herself as Kennedy was still enraged and not stopping so Buffy had to start dispensing some punches, and the last one hit Kennedy's stomach and cut her breath.
"You should
stop now Kennedy." Buffy told her but she didn't listen and
attacked her again, she avoided her fist and punched her in the face,
Buffy walked back a little, rubbing her jaw,
"Nice move."
She attacked her this time and Kennedy staved off her move with a
very specific move that sent Buffy on the ground.
Kennedy smirked, "You can thank your sisterslayer for this wonderful move she taught me. Very efficient."
Buffy moved her head quering, looking at Faith who frowned guiltily, "Sorry B."
Buffy jumped back on her feet and started again to dispense punches and kicking, Kennedy gave her good ones too but received much more than she could give. Buffy was still restraining herself though, trying to push Kennedy back most of the time, but the potentials would always come back more pissed off. For the nth time she was getting back on her feet and about to threw herself on Buffy again when someone grabbed her from behind, blocking her arms. It was Faith.
"I think it's enough this time."
"Let me go, it's no over!"
"I say it IS."
"You know I'm right." Kennedy told her.
"All I know is that your leader gave you an order, if you really wanna get out of this alive you'd better follow it, she is your leader, you do what she tells you."
"It's not what you were saying yesterday about her decisions." Kennedy said trying to break this kind of agreement between the two slayers that she couldn't understand but neither Buffy, neither Faith flinched. Faith smiled instead.
"Oh-oh
potential, leave B and I's history aside you will, it's a thing we
like to do, piss off the other as much as we can, see which one's
gonna crack up the first, not a game for little girls," she let
go of her arms,
"Think about it for a minute, most of these
girls wouldn't have last ten seconds with Buffy, you may think you're
too trained for these trainings but they sure aren't, our goal
is not to send them outside to get killed, but make sure they stand a
chance to defend themselves. Now I think Buffy told you something and
as a sidekick I second that, and... as a friend I suggest that you
get inside and cool off for a while."
Kennedy stared at her intensely, she then glanced at Willow who looked very disappointed and diverted her gaze from her. Kennedy clenched her fists then left in her turn.
"Better not get out of this house!" Faith added, knowing the girl, while Kennedy made her way amongst the potentials who had all been watching the scene from the windows and were gathered behind the garden's door.
"Well that
was... interesting," Buffy said then she added,
"Thank
you, I started to think I'd have to knock her out to stop her."
"Yeah, girl can be stubborn sometimes."
"Reminds me of someone."
Faith gave her a sardonic smile and Buffy laughed a bit, they gathered the weapons spread all over the garden at its center.
Willow was sitting silently against a tree in the back of the garden. Buffy was embarrassed but didn't go to her.
"Aren't you gonna tell her something?" Faith asked.
"And tell what? Your girl's losing it?"
"First she isn't, second I don't know, Red ain't my best friend."
"They'll get over it, both of them, they have to."
"Oh please B won't you quit your end of the world speeches, where are you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Where is Buffy? my Buffy-I mean the girl I met." Faith stammered the end of the sentence.
"She died." Buffy said as she entered the house. Faith stood straight in the garden **how did she change so much, she's so**
"You comin?"
Buffy cut Faith in her thoughts as she'd came back on her steps with
a softer look on her face, she then told Faith in an almost inviting
voice,
"I'm sure you're... hungry?"
**if I didn't know her I'd tell, forget about it Faith, forget!**
Faith walked closer, "Sure but what about you? You are the one who faced an angry potential. I saw you taking some bad punches B."
"Yes that's
right, no wondering where she'd learned them huh?" Buffy said
nonchalently, Faith raised her hands,
"Nothing to do with me
I swear, I'm innocent."
They both entered the house smiling.
PART 5
The afternoon went quite well, Buffy and Faith sat beside for lunch and talked a bit more. The afternoon's training went smoothly too. Kennedy was back in the group doing exactly what she was told. Willow was the only one missing as she was brooding in the living room and finally went back to do some more research with Dawn and Anya. Faith and Buffy hardenned the hand to hand fight training a little bit and gave the girls some demonstrations. They were fighting in unisson as to show them but they were as much delighted to do that again as the girls were amazed by what they could be able to do one day. Kennedy watched the two slayers in action even more attentively.
Then it was dinner time as the night was slowly falling and Spike could go out with all of them and from this moment Buffy's attention was on him again, talking with him and sitting beside him as she ate. Faith was very frustrated by this situation but didn't show it and instead she started to withdraw from the dim of the slayer and slayerettes dinner fest. She was staring at them from the back of the garden **she smiles**
Faith smiled
bitterly at the sight of Buffy and Spike in cosy talk, she walked
backwards even further at the end of the garden and took a cigarette
out of her pack as she hid behind the bushes. Suddenly her slayer
senses felt someone coming slowly from behind her. Within a second
she turned around and put her hands around the coming person's throat
and pinned her against the wall of the house before realising it was
Kennedy, she let go of her immediately,
"What are you doing
crawling that way, you wanna get killed?"
"Ooo I sense
much tension here. I just wanted nobody to see us." Kennedy
smiled provocatively and, walking forward, she put her hands on both
side of Faith's waist. The slayer immediately moved back,
"Hey
what you're doing kid?"
"Don't tell me you don't want it? You're the one who showed me what was inside of us."
"I think you've had too much K."
"Just one beer, or two, but you know it takes more to put a slayer down."
"The thing is, you're not yet a slayer so you'd better get back over there with the others."
"Or you'll do what? Dispense me again a perfectly Buffy-speech like you did this morning. You really wanna get back in favour with her don't you?"
"I already told you to give up on B and I ok?" Faith replied giving the younger girl a nasty look but Kennedy went on,
"You know what? I wonder who's the more pathetic, her and her new souled vamp or you still glancing at her every seconds, catching every smile, every sweet words. I saw you this afternoon, that was... kind of funny, big bad Faith making puppy dog eyes to her master."
Faith pinned her against the wall once more, their bodies were pressed against each other. And despite her will Faith could feel the sexual tension growing, she was already worked up by the pleasant fights she had had with Buffy.
Kennedy smiled, "You see, I know you wanted it, wasn't very hard to get it out."
"You really don't know what game you're playing at potential."
"I'm not playing, I'm here to take what I want. This is a lesson I very much enjoyed from you."
Kennedy's hand slowly moved up to Faith's bare stomach to her chest. Faith tried to calm her increasing breathing but didn't pull apart though.
"I thought we both understood last night was a mistake."
Kennedy's hand was on Faith's breast, "No it wasn't, it was comfort." she pinched Faith's nipple and pressed her hip hard against Faith's crotch, she kissed her neck. Faith breathed out heavily looking at the wall while Kennedy bit her, she barely said the words,
"And this? What is it?"
"A mistake." Kennedy replied before pulling Faith's face in a devoring kiss. Faith from that let go of her reluctances and took over, pressing the girl even harder against the wall, her hand already unzipping her pants, Kennedy let a trying-to-be-soft groan as she felt the dark slayer's finger entering her. Faith pressed her thigh even harder, Kennedy was already breathing very hastily, she slid her hand in Faith's pants in her turn after unzipping them and Faith bit the girl's lower lip as she felt her finger sliding inside of her. They were both completely excited. Both of them aware that anyone could come over here and see them and somehow that aroused them even more. Kennedy's moans started to get louder so Faith put her hand against the girl's mouth as she knew Buffy as well as Spike may be able to hear them. They kept rocking each other very fast. Kennedy bit Faith's hand as she came in order not to cry and Faith a few seconds later buried her heavy final sigh in Kennedy's neck.
After a little while hanging onto each other against the wall Faith pulled apart agressively, "You're happy now?!"
By the look on Kennedy's face she could see that it really wasn't the case.
**I should understand her, she's screwed up at the moment**
"Fuck! You know you had a chance, you still had a chance to work it out with her. You may not have it anymore. Shit Kennedy!"
Faith was more mad at herself for letting this happenned **I didn't change I didn't, gonna screw it all again. B... Buffy. And I'm gonna drag the girl in the mess with me**
"She said she still loved Tara too much."
Kennedy just told this before letting herself slid against the wall, crying. Faith was very upset to see the young girl's pain, and most of all knowing she needed help now. Faith was brought back at the time where she was screwed up like that, she always thought... just a little sign from Buffy would've helped her out of the mess. But now everything was different, the world was even harder and Buffy kept insisting on showing that to all of them, Faith included, no time to crack up. Faith couldn't help following, like she would always do when it came to Buffy. She squat in front of Kennedy. Pulled a lock beside her ear and wipe the tears away with her hand.
"Look it's ok Kennedy, it's a very hard situation, it's ok to crack up sometimes, we all did but... ok, you cry now but then you have to pull yourself together again ok? Things never stay the same Kennedy, life told me that, I think there is always a way to make things right. So now go get up, be strong and make things right. Don't disappoint me girly girl, I bet on you to be the next one, I don't have any money so don't make me lose."
Kennedy let a laughing-cry as she looked at Faith, "You know that if I'm the next one, means that you'll be dead so... no more money issues."
They both smiled, "You're damn right potential, but still, I don't like to lose so get up little soldier."
She helped her, wipped her tears even more.
"There, that's perfect, a little red eyes but that should do. Go."
Kennedy turned round, "Faith I'm sorry."
Faith winked at her, "Don't worry, it'll be alright."
Kennedy joined the others and Faith sat in her turn against the wall, took the cigarette she'd let fall on the ground and lit it... she sighed then took her head in between her hands...
PART 6
The potentials were about to leave the garden to go shower and to sleep as they'd almost all finished dinner when Buffy went in the middle of the garden.
"Ok girls, I'd
planned something for tonight. Like someone pointed out more or less
subtly-" she gave a scolding glance at Kennedy before going on,
"-we should do some patrols, like we did when the firsts of
you arrived here. The fact is that you've been so many to come, so
fast that I'd stopped doing that in order to keep you safe, it
wouldn't have been easy to watch over all of you that way but now-"
she looked at Faith then went on,
"-we're numerous enough, I
believe, to organise ourselves in a safe but useful way"
The potentials were
looking at one another and talking very low, Vi shyly started,
"You
mean?"
"Yes girls, tonight's patrol. Not training, not demonstration but slaying. Restfield cemetery, the bigger of Sunnydale, been several nights since I've been there so there must be some trash to collect."
She moved closer to Spike and Faith who were listening to her carefully.
"We're gonna make 4 teams. 3 groups of 5 and 1 of 6. Each group will have a leader from amongst the scoobies. Xander for group 1, Dawn for group 2, Andrew for group 3, and Anya for group 4 Ok?"
"You-you gave me a group, I get to be a leader?" Dawn said, her eyes wide opened as she couldn't believe what she just heard. Buffy walked closer to her and looked at her proudly,
"Yes little sis', you're big enough for that."
Andrew started too, "And I am too, I'm in command like Luke in t-"
"-Well rather that I don't have a choice, but anyway Robin will be there in a minute and will be making ways and go between group 2 and 3 to reinforce. So girls this is how we're gonna do it, we'll comb the cemetery, walking in line, all 4 groups at the same time. Each group at a certain distance but still in sight of the group that is beside itself ok. Also each leader will have this-" she showed a walkie talkie,
"-There are nine of these, one for each leader, one for Robin and one for the 4 of us, of course we weren't gonna let you, so Faith, Spike, Willow and I will be behind each group and in continuous touch with every groups and there in a second if there is trouble, which I believe will be the case. Any questions?"
Some of the potentials looked very scared, Faith told them reassuringly,
"Don't worry girls we'll be there all the way."
"Ok now the groups, Anya you'll have the group of six potentials ok?; group 4 Molly, Vi, Kenza, Andy, Jessica and well Sally, ok girls, go get your weapons."
"Andrew; group 3 with Jenny, Elvie, Sarah, Rona and Tina. Go prepare."
"Dawnie group 2, Amanda, shirley, Gwen, Tori and Fiona, go get ready."
"And finally group 1, Xander's group; Kennedy, Stella, Michelle, Sharleen and Alicia, go take the weapons."
While the potentials and scoobies combined taking weapons, Buffy and Spike turned the talkies on, joined by Willow and Faith ironically said,
"I'm impressed B, you know all the girl's names?"
"Well it wasn't always the ones I thought would stand up that did, but I made an effort."
They all slightly laughed then looked at one another.
"I feel the night's gonna be a long one;" Spike said, Buffy nodded and Willow sighed.
"Come on they're gonna like it, that'll change them and we're here, what bad can possibly happen?" Faith immediately frowned at herself, the others frowned too, "Oh I so shouldn't have said that."
"Now something's gonna happen!" Willow worriedly said.
Spike snorted, "Don't be all superstitious."
"I'm not-" Faith said then added "-but hellmouth here." she winked.
"They'll be nothing more than vampires, some demons too and well, maybe some bringers also in the mix, so, the usual."
They all looked at Buffy after her comment and she frowned inwardly
**maybe gonna cancel the patrol**
They looked back at the talkies.
"This is yours Willow, it's open but don't hesitate, if you see or sense anything to use the other way too."
"What other way?" Faith asked, looking at Willow then Buffy,
"You'll see in time I guess." the blonde slayer replied and moved before Faith could complain.
"Ok! Testing testing you hear me Group 1."
"Ok Buff." Xander replied.
"Group 2?"
"Yes yes it works Buffy that's great!" Dawn replied very exited.
"Group 3-just say yes Andrew if you hear me?" Buffy very fast added seing Andrew was holding is breath ready to let out one of is sci-fi movie catchy sentence,
"Ok so yes." he simply said very disapointed.
"Group 4?"
"What's my name? Group 4, you just have no respect for people's feeling, you could at least call me-"
"Anya, this is military, sorta expression, This is more simple."
"Oh? ok yes then, I hear you, general."
"Thank you Xander." Buffy told him out of the talkie before going on,
"Robin? That works too?"
"Perfect."
"Why does he get called by his name and not by a group appelation like the rest of us?" Anya said still in the walkie talkie.
"Because he's not a group Anya!" Xander replied to her outside the talkie with emphasis on her name, she didn't reply but looked vexed.
Buffy called, "So guys come in closer."
"Faith and I are gonna be at the end of the lines, Faith will back up group 1 and I will back up group- Anya's group." Anya smiled delightfully, Buffy went on,
"Willow behind Group 2 and Spike behind group 3. We'll be very mobile, if there's a problem with group 3 in a few seconds I can be on it and vice versa so you don't have to worry, just focus and trust your instinct."
She looked at Faith who nodded with a wicked smile, Buffy then looked back at the potentials.
"So let's go then."
So they went to the cemetery, groups behind groups then once in it, spread on the left, middle and center more or less in sight of each other.
They were now walking for ten minutes, everyone very concentrated, the SIT were silent and focused too.
# Buffy? # Buffy recognized Willow's voice talking to her via telepathy.
# Yes Will #
# I feel 2 maybe 3 vamps coming ahead of my group #
# Thank you Will, but you know, this is the kind of thing you can tell via the other way # Buffy said smiling a bit.
# Ah ok sorry, still not used to it #
"Ok guys you hear me, probably 2 or 3 vamps coming ahead of group 2, Robin ?"
"I'm already there."
"Good. Group 3, Andrew fasten the pace to take the vamps from the side to help group 2. Spike, I'm moving a bit closer to group 3 so go now on group 2 for reinforcement. Will, Robin and Spike, remember the goal is for the girls to really get in it, and for us to make sure they do it in safety so let them handle it the more they can, let's go."
"Dawn, you see something?"
"Err I think oh yes here they are right in front of us, they're 2."
Andrew took his talkie, "Actually I believe they're 4, there are 2 more that are trying to take you on the side just like we do, but they don't know we had the same idea, it's like in Star Trek when-"
"Andrew can your group do something about those two?"
"Actually yes cause now the four of them are in between our two groups and oh I believe they saw us now."
"Guys let's dust!" Buffy told them. They all heard a few sizzlings coming from Dawn's talkie.
"Dawn is everything alright?"
"Dawn?" Buffy repeated anxiously.
PART 7
"Don't worry pet, everything's fine, your sis got her hands full, jeez these girls are unbridled tonight. Oie there I'd better go for this one."
That was Spike's voice in the talkies. After 30 more seconds Buffy asked,
"Report on situation?"
No reply, she asked again, "Andrew? Robin?"
"I dusted one! I dusted one!" That was Dawn's excited voice on the walkie talkie, Buffy smiled inwardly,
"Good Dawnie what about the rest of them?"
"You wouldn't believe it Buffy, Elvie and Rona jumped onto one and made him fall and Tori, Fiona, Rona and Amanda all staked him while he was on the ground, poor vamp. I mean, they didn't hit the right spot first but they finally had it. Willow threw a fifth one aside, he surprised us coming from the other side, he was about to bite Amanda but Spike staked him, Robin had the last one."
"Great, everything's ok then, everyone back at its position, guess there'll be more coming soon."
They patrolled for about 2 hours, meeting there and then a few vamps, never more than 5, each group had the opportunity to battle, each time doubled by another group. About 10 of the potentials managed to dust a vamp, included Kennedy and Amanda who both had already done it. Kennedy even dusted 2 of them this evening.
"Ok guys, let's call it a night. One more thing, they did great, you all did, tell them they can be proud of themselves and for what its worth, I am." Buffy told them. Xander, Dawn, Andrew and Anya told the girls while Faith, Willow, Spike and Buffy already joined each groups.
Buffy told them in the walkie talkie, "Group 1 and 4, come back here, we gather all in the center before going back."
When group 1 was in sight, all girls arriving, Buffy noticed that Faith, once assured that all of the girls from her group were there, turned around and left back from where she was coming from. Buffy did not understand, she was still counting all the girls. Group 4, 3 and 2 were all there and group 1 was arriving. Buffy noticed Willow wasn't here either. Xander went directly towards Buffy and told her discreetly,
"Kennedy's missing, Faith went back to look for her."
"How did it happen?"
"I don't know, she was there when you told us to come back and then, I don't know. Faith arrived immediately and noticed she wasn't there, she escorted us here and left back."
"What about Willow?"
"Willow?" Xander replied with surprise, he looked around and saw that effectively, she was missing too.
"Dawn honey come here please." Dawn ran to her sister, Buffy asked her in a low voice,
"Have you seen Willow?"
"Not since the fight against the pangim demon, why?"
"Nothing honey it's ok you can go back."
** I think we have a problem. God please make that Will and her are making out somewhere or God I swear I'll kill Faith if she's for something in that mess**
Spike and Wood came too, seeing Buffy and Xander talking privately.
"What's the problem?" The tall man asked.
"No problem, the exit is over here, very close, you guys bring back everyone, I'll be coming in a minute, you don't worry about us, just bring the girls back home ok?"
"Ok."
Buffy left in her turn heading toward the center of the cemetery while the others were leaving.
~~~~~~
Willow had felt Kennedy's disturbed aura way before this one walked away from her group. She was close to her now, she saw her sitting against a tree, apparently crying, her head down. She ran to her and went on her knees just in front of her.
"Kennedy? Kennedy what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry I'm so sorry."
"It's nothing, Kennedy it's ok." but the girl wasn't less distressed, Willow went on trying to sound reassuring,
"It happens to everyone to get up bad moody sometimes, but not even Buffy will hold a grudge against you for this morning. For myself I was a bit... I don't know... I didn't understand but nothing's changed, it's ok, I'm not mad at you."
"I thought I could be strong, I thought I had to be, for you, for everything. I acted... I thought it was ok but I cracked up."
"It happens to everyone Kennedy, you don't have to be the strongest, all the time. And I'm here too."
"I thought I could, with you beside but I understood I was just as weak as the others when I realised-" she stopped as the crying prevented her from talking even more, Willow stared at her distress, unable to find the words to comfort her, "You realised what?"
"That we'll never be."
Willow didn't understand at all, "But we are, we're, it's working."
"The worst is that I really knew, I really felt that I loved you when I understood that you didn't."
"But what are you saying? I told y-"
"-You tried to comfort me but I heard you, I heard what you felt about her, how you miss her, how you still love her. God I made so many mistakes, I got it so wrong."
Willow tried to think hard, "Kennedy baby, did you hear all the conversation between Buffy and I?"
"It was too hard, I felt my heart breaking to pieces cause I understood, and I had never felt that before."
"You're a fool Kennedy."
Kennedy looked at her still crying but a bit stunned.
"Yes you made a big mistake. If you'd stayed you would have heard what I told her after that."
Kennedy was stared at her, listening religiously as Willow continued,
"I told her that this hole that I feel in my heart when I think about how much I miss Tara, well when you look at me, this hole turns into a smile, a smile that becomes wider and wider every day. I feel so alive again when I look at you." she wipped the tears on Kennedy's jaws,
"I'm really falling Kennedy, I-I oh yes, I love you."
Kennedy's face turned into an almost shocked face, and she burst into tears even more hiding her face with her hands.
"Ok I thought it would rather stopped the tears because this is what breaks my heart to pieces but hey if it's laughter tears it's ok too." Willow's joke didn't change a thing on Kennedy's grave expression so Willow added, in a more serious tone,
"Ok it doesn't seem to be laughter tears either."
"I made more than one mistake Willow."
Willow frowned, Kennedy stared at her helplessly, "I'm so sorry Willow, I-I I was so bad, I thought- oh God what have I done?"
Willow moved back slowly and got up even more slowly, looking shocked
"You... you slept with her." she just said looking at the ground, unable to move or know what to do.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." Kennedy cried the words while Willow slowly walked backwards. Kennedy moved on her knees, grabbing Willow by the hips,
"No no don't leave me, don't leave me please Willow."
Willow tried to remove Kennedy's hands from herself but Kennedy grabbed her by the waist and pulled as hard as she could until Willow, also crying, fell on her knees too.
"No don't,
don't touch me, let me go." Willow was crying very much and
looking aside while struggling to get rid of Kennedy's hold on her.
Kennedy took her by the wrist and pulled her closer as she exclaimed,
"Screw that Willow!" she went on with the same tone,
"I'm done whining, this isn't me. We're fucked Willow, our
lives are fucked, living here, the hellmouth, everything's doomed to
be fucked up!"
Willow wasn't struggling anymore but still avoiding to look at her.
"Our relationship is not perfect ok? I've made mistakes, so did you, and ya'd better know that I will make some more but you're my chance of happiness, my purpose to go on in that fucked up life of ours, and I'm that chance for you too. I love you Willow and you love me."
She took the witch's face in her hands and forced her to look at her while repeating louder, "You love me?"
Willow was just a bunch of tears so much she was crying, "Yes, Yes I love you." she then held the potential very tight for a minute, then Kennedy looked at her again,
"Then it's gonna be alright now, we're gonna make it." She kissed her very softly first, then wiped her tears away and kissed her some more.
**Thanks Christ! I think we went very close from our very own apocalypse, and me, very close from losing my skin** Faith thought as she had observed them from behind a tree.
Their kiss became more intense, more passionate, and their hands started roaming under each other's top. Kennedy gently fell Willow over to the ground and their kiss became more urgent. They both desperately needed to love the other.
**Ok there, I think this is the part where I slowly fade away, let the show go on...without me** Faith walked away with a smile.
PART 8
**That was quite a day today again, dear Sunnydale, wonder what tomorrow has in store for me** Faith was in her thoughts when suddenly she was pushed violently, she almost fell on the ground but her slayer's abilities allowed her to find her balance again faster, it was Buffy.
"You bitch!"
**Ok better watch my mouth, today's not over yet** Faith didn't understand.
"What's wrong B. Didn't have your quota of fights today?"
"You're a slut, you'll never change!" and she attacked her, punching her in the stomach.
"Buffy calm down, what ouch-"
Faith was mainly trying to block or avoid her punch as she tried to understand but Buffy was in such a rage.
"You don't know what happened here!" Another kick in the face this time.
"Happened what- you mean, oh B look it's ok, they're ok, they really are."
"No, nothing's ok when you're here."
"B I don't understand!"
Buffy punched her so hard she fell on the ground, "And once more I've let you do it, crawl inside again."
Faith was completely lost but still not fighting back, "What do you mean?"
"Nothing, nothing means a thing when it's about you. You don't know what you've done."
Faith kept staring at her, not trying to get up while Buffy continued her attacks.
"You're a bitch, you're a killer, you're bad, you're bad!!"
Buffy kept on yelling at her as she jumped onto her, straddling her and punching her. Faith just protected her face and she became aware of Buffy's falling tears.
"Will and Ken are okay, they made up I swear."
"You don't know, you don't know, you nearly ruined everything!"
Faith blocked Buffy's fists in her hands and forced both her hands on the ground on both side of her head.
"You don't know what happened here since you left."
Buffy stopped trying to move her arms again so Faith let go of her wrists, Buffy was completely exhausted, not from fighting but rather from her breaking down.
"Buffy." Faith said, almost praying.
"You don't know what I've become," Buffy sat up a bit more straight, her hands resting on Faith's stomach, and she was looking at the sky, breathing with difficulty, "It's been so hard. I've died and I've felt dead for so long really, but then I got over it and I became... I only had to be the slayer, with everything it meant, thought I had succeeded, thought I would win The First because I was ready, I'd finally become what I was. All these things you told me about myself, about us, you'll be happy to know they were true, everything is just so dark. But I had a mission, people, a world to save and nothing else mattered, friends, family, tenderness, nothing, not any of these were obstacles anymore, they didn't matter anymore, we had to fight and to win but then you came again and I failed... again."
"Buffy what
are you saying?" Faith said as she tried to sit up straight too
but Buffy punched her once more.
"It's your fault you bitch
I hate you."
Faith didn't reply,
she was waiting for it all to go out and Buffy continued effectively,
"I failed to be strong, you made me weak. You always do,
always did. I felt, I feel these things that I wasn't pushing back
anymore cause they were gone, long gone outside of me, out of my
heart but they came back. Thought it was over but you came
back like a hurricane once more and turned me, turned everything
upside down and my heart's a wreck and I want to hate you for doing
that to me. For making me weak, for making me need you that way."
Faith looked completely stunned. Buffy's eyes were riveted in Faith's ones but they looked lost, she looked so tired. Faith sat up straight, blocking Buffy's wrist as she tried once more to pin her to the ground. Buffy was crying. As Faith sat up they were inches apart, Buffy still straddling her. Faith put her hand slowly on Buffy's face and caressed her very tenderly, Buffy closed her eyes, she was worn out.
"Sssh it's fine sweet love." Faith whispered, Buffy opened her eyes again and for the first time looked at her completely helplessly, her eyes were pleading for Faith's words to be true and Faith really understood then how lost and how beyond her limits Buffy already was, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
"We're gonna lose and I'm-"
"-I'm here now. You don't have to do this alone, I will make you... stronger believe me." Faith whispered then very slowly moved her face forwards and gently placed her lips over Buffy's. Her hand gently caressed her from her neck to her ear. She, still very softly moved even more forward, holding Buffy close by the waist as she deepened the kiss. She felt Buffy's hands on her shoulders, her fingers clenching tighter on them. Faith just held her closer as Buffy really needed it, she was on a lose. Faith slowly pulled apart after a while and Buffy let her head rest into Faith's neck, in an almost abandonment move. They held each other tightly.
"It's ok, I
swear it's gonna be ok. I'll show you there's more to life than
this." Faith barely looked around them as she held her even more
tightly, closing her eyes,
"I'm gonna make it ok. I
promise."
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