**IT
WAS A YEAR AGO**
PART 1
Kennedy arrived at the basement’s door just when Willow stepped out of it.
“What're you doing? Andrew told me you were leaving for LA?” The potential sounded skeptic.
Willow
moved towards the stairs,
“Oh yes, got a phone call,
shouldn’t take too long, don’t worry.”
She
was about to go upstairs when Kennedy gently grabbed her arm,
“Hey
wait, I could come with you, we could be together... alone for a
while.”
Willow
gave her a sarcastic smile,
“Hon, I’m not going on a
vacation trip, it rather was a panic call if you know what I mean.”
Kennedy frowned, “I thought you said it shouldn’t take long?”
“Yes baby, that doesn’t mean it isn’t big though.”
Willow moved forward and placed a very soft kiss on her girlfriend’s mouth before turning around again, Kennedy shrugged and continued, “But maybe I could help then?”
Willow turned around again, “It’s ok baby, I don’t need you.”
Willow realized what she'd just said at Kennedy’s very sad face.
“I mean, I don’t mean that, you know I do.”
“No Willow I don’t, honestly, I can’t even take it as a slip of the tongue; you never need me.”
“But you know I do, what I meant is, I can handle the LA call on my own and you, you’re needed here with the other-"
“Potentials, that’s ok I get my place.”
Kennedy turned around, Willow looked upset, “Kennedy? Kennedy no you-”
The brunette was already out by the garden’s door. Willow sighed and went upstairs to take some stuff she needed. The situation was urgent in LA like here in Sunnydale and she didn’t have any time to lose, Kennedy would understand that. Willow felt a slight pain at this thought as she kept telling herself this: That Kennedy would understand... somehow she knew that thinking this way all the time wasn’t right to Kennedy. She shook theses guilty thoughts out of her head and left for LA.
~~~~
Willow gave a jump as she woke up.
“Tara?”
Willow looked all around her, she’d fallen asleep at the hospital while watching over the girl she and Faith had picked up on the road as they were coming back from LA. There was no one else in the room but the unconscious girl.
Willow inhaled deeply, realizing she was just dreaming though she couldn’t remember of what, the only thing she was sure of was Tara’s voice calling for her... it seemed so real, and it wasn’t the first time, she was dreaming of her a lot lately.
The red head told herself that it was probably due to her and Kennedy’s growing closeness, and that she was probably letting go of her former lover for good, but she knew in the back of her mind that she’d never been more distant with the young potential than these last few days, ever since the spell to bring Buffy back again.
Kennedy had rather easily let her fears and doubts aside but Willow had not, and there was the voice... she could hear her past lover call for her even when she was awake, or she thought she was...
Willow doubted a lot these days and her relationship with Kennedy was suffering of that. The witch was taken away from her thoughts as the injured brunette girl started to move on the hospital bed.
~~~~
Willow came back home much later and went directly to her room in which Kennedy was getting ready to go to sleep.
“You’re back!”
Kennedy held her and Willow held her back, “Told you.”
“I’m sorry Kennedy for-“
“No don’t, I was stupid. I know you have things to do, we all have. I understand this.”
Kennedy
smiled at her and Willow smiled back, the brunette gently took her
hand saying in a low husky voice,
“I was about to... go to
sleep, the others are still downstairs, maybe you would like to join
me.”
Willow looked embarrassed, “Err, err, I-I well.”
“Willow, I’m not asking you for anything you don’t want... just lay there with me, let me take you in my arms, you and me, that’s all I ask of you now, just... be with me.”
Willow felt sad at that sentence, knowing she’d been so distant with her. She looked at her with a genuine smile and took her in her arms, Kennedy smiled. Willow took her jacket and shoes off and went to the drawer to very fast put her night short and shirt on under her girlfriend’s delighted gaze. They both crept under the sheets.
They were on their sides, face to face. Kennedy started caressing Willow’s face then the redhead moved closer and they kissed. Hands roaming less lightly now on each other’s skin. Kennedy had to focus on not touching Willow in places, it was tricky but she thought to herself that they had the time, as long as the redhead was in her arms she had all the time in the world.
They kissed and caressed each other, sometimes brushing against each other’s breasts, for about half an hour before Willow snuggled up in her very turned on girlfriend.
~
Willow struggled to open an eye, Kennedy was sleeping peacefully.
Willow opened both her eyes and moved away from the brunette, turning her head slowly. Her eyes opened wide suddenly.
“God.” Her breath was taken away; she started puffing and unwilling tears formed in her eyes, “Tara.”
Her blonde lover was standing at the edge of the open door, holding a book. She was staring straight at Willow with the same comforting gaze that would always make everything seem ok in Willow’s mind. The red head was speechless.
Tara walked away and Willow immediately got out of the bed to follow her, in slight panic.
“Tara! Tara please wait.”
Tara was walking in the corridor, she went to the junk room and stood in front of it.
Willow looked very lost, “Am I dreaming?”
Tara smiled gently at her but didn’t reply, they stared at each other for a while.
Willow was about to cry, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I let it happen, I couldn’t help you, baby.”
Willow sniffed, she still looked very confused, “But how?”
Tara slowly glanced at the book she was holding, Willow looked at it too then sat up straight on her bed, waking up suddenly.
**My God**
Her breathing was heavy.
**It was a dream, just a dream**
She was shaking though and she felt Kennedy’s arms around her, enveloping her, “What’s wrong, baby?”
Willow broke down crying in her arms. Kennedy gently rocked her for a while, laying them both on the bed again.
“Ssh, it was a bad dream, it’s over. I’m here baby it’s ok.”
Kennedy caressed her face for a while, Willow closed her eyes without falling asleep.
After
a while she moved aside from Kennedy who’d finally fallen back
asleep. The witch still looked very disturbed; she looked all around
her then slowly got up and left the room. She walked in the corridor,
the walls and everything seemed to move in slow motion like in her
dream. She headed to the junk room and stood straight in front of it
for a while then raised a shaking hand to the knob. She gulped as she
opened it. She very slowly went inside, there were lots of pile of
books, mainly black arts book they'd managed to save from the magic
box and put aside. It was in here that Willow took the book for the
spell to bring Buffy back several days ago.
Willow ran her hand on several books, she was attracted to the pile on the right. She moved the books one by one very slowly and there it was; the one Tara was holding in her dream. Willow’s breath was very heavy again, she let herself slide against the door and remained a while just sitting and trying to calm her breathing down, trying to understand. How could it be possible? And why? The book was about resurrections. It was a book of this kind Willow had discreetly allowed Dawn to read after her mother had passed away.
Willow frowned and tried hard to focus. It was over; she hadn’t been able to bring Tara back and now she was gone. The only way to do it she’d used it for Buffy and there was no other way now, this book was all zombie or failure like, it wasn’t possible, no, it wasn’t.
Willow tried hard to calm her breathing and the many thoughts crowding her mind. She held out her hand and took the book. She very hesitantly opened it and turned the page one by one, there wasn’t a thing in it that she didn’t know of, so why? Why was she still reading it? She told herself that she wanted to believe there was something she’d missed but in the back of her mind she knew that being there, reading this book, was already an insult to life itself and that Tara would never want that... But then why? Why would she ask her and show her that book? As Willow kept trying to find a decent reason she turned a page and a picture of her and Tara fell from it... A picture she’d never seen, a picture of the both of them in front of the new Sunnydale high school... How? Impossible? Willow looked closely at the page from which it fell and read it... carefully.
~~~~
Willow wasn’t in bed when Kennedy woke up and the potential felt sad about it, for a very short while only, as she quickly got out of the bed, not one to think too much of depressing things. She very fast took a shower and got downstairs searching for Willow. She met Anya who told her that the witch had gone out very early in the morning and wasn't back yet. Kennedy sighed, she went outside as the crowding and noisy other potentials inside started getting on her nerves. She went to the garden, that’s when she saw Willow in a corner, away from the house. A smile spread on Kennedy’s face, she moved closer and noticed Willow had not seen her coming yet, she was deeply focused in her reading.
Kennedy raised her brows, “Wow, must be an interesting book?”
"What?" Willow gave a jump, “Oh Kennedy, you’re here. I didn’t hear you.”
“I noticed.”
Kennedy sat beside her and Willow closed the book, putting it aside for the brunette not to see it.
“Ok.” Kennedy said with a frown.
Willow
looked a bit distant, she looked at the house,
“Err what
are you doing here? I mean, I thought Buffy was training you girls
this morning?”
Kennedy sighed, “Do I get the feeling you don’t want me here.”
Willow looked aside, “It’s not that but I-I’m working here.”
Kennedy
got up and began walking away then she came back,
“It’s
always the same; every time I think I’m finally getting close
to you, you just step back again and I-. What do I gotta do?”
Willow couldn’t look at her. Kennedy’s voice was filled with sadness, exasperation and hopes at the same time. She only expected Willow to put her on the track but the red head wasn’t even on it anymore, she just looked aside unable to look at the brunette’s pleading eyes.
Kennedy walked away and back inside the house. Willow freed her mind of this conversation to immediately take her reading back where she'd stopped it, even though she’d already read it hundreds of time by now.
PART 2
Willow was absent all day long. Kennedy didn't say anything but she obviously looked very btohered, even annoyed. Buffy and Xander were a bit worried too as the witch hadn't told them a word either.
It
was the evening; the potentials were eating in the garden while
Kennedy was talking Buffy into going out to search for Willow,
thinking something had happened to her. Xander and Anya already had a
hard time to prevent the potential from leaving the house twice
during the afternoon to go search for her on her own.
Buffy put her jacket on; she'd finally agreed but then the door opened and the witch stepped inside. They all stared at her, half relieved, half expectant.
Willow hesitantly asked though guessing the why of these gazes on her,
“Something’s wrong?”
“Where were you?” Kennedy asked incisively.
“Out. Somewhere. Walking, yes I was somewhere walking around.”
“We were beginning to worry Will, you should’ve told us.” Buffy said in a nicer tone.
Xander moved closer, “Is everything ok, Will?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry you worried for me, you know I can handle myself though, well, most of the time but I-, yes I’m sorry I should’ve let a note or something.”
Xander kept looking at her comfortingly, “It doesn’t look like you. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yes, Xander don’t worry, I- I was,” she trailed off as she looked at Kennedy. She then looked back at her friends and went on,
“I was at the cemetery.”
Kennedy left upstairs with a sigh, understanding like the others that Willow went on Tara’s grave.
Buffy moved closer, “I understand, Will. I know it’s hard and it’s gonna be 1 year soon. We really do understand but now is a very difficult time; don’t shut us out of your thoughts ok? We need you, I need you in that.”
Xander gently squeezed his best friend’s shoulder and she smiled at them,
“Yes I know, sorry for letting you down today, but I’m here now, totally.”
Faith, who was in the living room too, moved closer to the witch with a frown, “Well, guess there’s someone who’d like to hear that, and actually believe it.”
The brunette slayer then walked to the kitchen. Willow took her jacket off and climbed upstairs but stopped in her track and went back downstairs.
Buffy frowned, “Already?”
“I thought you were gonna talk with Kennedy?” Xander added.
Willow looked bothered, “Yes, err, not the right time. I’m hungry; I’ll talk to her later.”
Willow headed to the kitchen and the others shrugged then followed.
Kennedy went back downstairs and joined them for dinner, not saying a word about Willow’s escapade but rather talking about slaying and patrolling. But despite the talking, they were all aware of Willow’s absence; she was here but it was like she wasn’t, she kept looking by the window and barely mumbling when answering to a question. It was getting on Kennedy’s nerve but she still wasn’t talking to the witch.
Xander asked Willow for the nth time to hand him the bottle of water.
Kennedy cracked, “Hey Willow you’re with us?!”
Willow turned her head to them suddenly, “Yes Tara?”
Kennedy moved backwards.
“Err no, I meant, Kennedy, I’m sorry, I was thinking-“
“Not about me, I already got this. It’s ok I’m done, goodnight everyone.”
Kennedy left to the stairs in a rush and Willow left to the garden to avoid her friends' concerned questions and gazes.
Faith raised her brows.
~~~~
Faith walked inside of Willow’s room. Kennedy was looking by the opened window, sitting on the edge of it.
“Mind if I come in?”
Kennedy shrugged in a whatever way. Faith stepped inside with her sleeping bag and Kennedy frowned.
“Yeah I know. Unofficially, I guess Dawn wasn’t too happy about sharing her room with me. I’ve been gently asked to come in this one, rumors says it’s larger.” Faith ironically told her.
Kennedy lightly smiled. Faith laid her sleeping bag and walked closer to the potential who was staring back at the window. Faith bent over it for a short while and saw Willow sitting in a corner of the garden, that was where Kennedy was looking. Faith raised her brows and took a cig out of her pack, she handed it to the young brunette who shook her head,
“No thanks.”
Faith lit her cigarette and sat on the edge of the window too.
“What’s wrong with Red?”
Kennedy sighed, “If I only knew.”
Then the potential changed the subject,
“What’s going on with Buffy? It seemed restless in the corridor a minute ago.”
Faith raised her brows,
“B wanted to go straight to the guy and Giles and her really argued, I think we’re staying finally but well, she’s really mad at him... I will never understand B and her thing for vamps, but I guess Giles betraying her like that is kind of a good reason to be mad though, or so I think.”
After a little while Kennedy finally went on about Willow,
“It wasn’t like that at first. Ok, I forced myself a bit into her life, her private life I mean. I can’t help it that’s the way I am; when I want something I go straight for it and don’t stop till I get it.”
Faith nodded, “Down with you on that, so what happened next?”
“Well, I had to make some compromises, let’s say that there was much more in question. When I got to know her better I understood, but that wasn’t going to stop me, I just had to take things more slowly with her, and I guess it was fine because I realized I really liked her so... that was fine by me... and we got closer. I thought I really was close you know, that it could work. I never met someone like Willow, she’s kind of an unknown territory and I’m learning every day new things about her personality and everything, and I’m really liking every bit of her but she... she’s growing away from me. The more I’m falling for her, the less she does.”
Faith sighed then tried to think,
“Maybe it’s not that. I kinda heard about last year, seems like it was rough. Maybe the two of you will see clearer once all of this is over, assuming you both live through it of course.”
Kennedy raised her brows at Faith’s natural tone and sarcastically nodded,
“Ya, thanks for the reminder.”
“You’re welcome.”
The slayer then looked more serious,
“I think you shouldn’t do your head in like that. Like Buffy said it’s maybe just because you know, the one year thing. It’ll pass.”
“It wasn’t like that. There’s something I don’t get. Ever since she did that spell in the house she started to... maybe she got scared that I wouldn’t understand or... I don’t know... I’m getting tired of turning over the same thing in my head but... she’s acting weird, since that spell, and now that she came back from LA it’s even worse, it’s like we don’t have any connection at all... She’s somewhere else, somewhere I can’t reach her.”
“You’re thinking about Tara?”
“Please no, Willow does that enough for the both of us. I’m sorry I know everyone just loves her but I can’t even bear her name anymore.”
Faith shrugged, “Well, I met her once, it was rather extreme circumstances that I prefer to not even remind Willow of, so I can’t really talk about it. She seemed nice but again, I didn’t get to know her.”
“She was nice. I don’t know her either but I can tell you, it’s like we grew up in the same house so much everyone keeps rambling on how wonderful Tara was. They’re all throwing me in the face how much I am not her. I tell you, they still even don’t understand what Willow is doing with me.”
Faith shrugged again,
“I know that. These people tend to avoid understanding things that are not in their own little norm; feelings just like everything else. As if we could only love one type of person.”
“Exactly. But honestly sometimes it’s getting heavy and I’m tired of it. Now I don’t even have Willow’s support and tenderness, I have nothing, I think I've lost her.”
“I know the feeling.”
Kennedy looked really down.
“Hey chill potential, it’s not over till it’s over ok?”
“If you say so.”
Kennedy got up and left for the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed to sleep. Faith finished her cig and did the same. They both went to sleep. Both were feeling a bit aside from the rest of the house.
PART 3
Willow didn’t sleep in the room that night.
Buffy took Faith for a reconnaissance in the woods during the day. Kennedy remained with the other potentials, sulking about Willow’s quasi-total absence during that day. They decided to attack the vineyard in which they thought the preacher was hiding. The attack was a failure and most of them ended up at the hospital, 2 potentials were killed and Xander lost 1 eye.
Willow
was staying with him. Buffy was really demoralized and went out for
the night. Everyone was discouraged too.
Willow went back home in
the early morning, everyone was supposedly still sleeping, she headed
to the garden. A short while after that Kennedy walked in the garden
in her turn, she sat beside the redhead and put her arms around her.
Willow let her do but remained silent.
“I’m sorry for Xander, we’ll get this guy for him and the others, don’t worry Willow.”
Willow slightly moved away from Kennedy’s embrace, the brunette remained nice,
“Willow, you shouldn’t walk around in town alone like that, you should’ve called, someone would’ve picked you up at the hospital. It’s too dangerous with the bringers, and now Caleb.”
Willow kept looking in front of her, “It was ok, I took a cab.”
Kennedy looked hesitant, “And... the night before?”
Willow looked aside,
“Err, I was with Buffy, talking about the plan and we- we fell asleep in her room.”
Kennedy removed her arms, “I talked to Buffy today. I know you weren't with her.” Kennedy's tone was still.
Willow frowned as she got up, “What now you’re spying on me?”
“No Will, I’m just worried, you’re acting strangely these days, I’d like you to talk to me again... that’s all.”
“I-I can’t.”
Kennedy moved closer, putting her hands nicely on Willow’s shoulder and face,
“You can tell me everything, Willow. Is there somethi-“ Kennedy stopped as Willow's stare seemed completely focused behind the brunette’s back. Kennedy turned around very fast but didn’t see anything.
“Everything’s fine, Kennedy. I’m just working hard to find a solution, like everyone one of us, that’s all. I didn’t have much time for you, I know but-”
Buffy entered the garden and sighed, apparantly reassured,
“God you’re here ,Will.”
Kennedy frowned,
“Yes, she has just come back from the hospital, what’s wrong?”
Buffy frowned too, “Just? I’m coming back from the hospital and the doctor told me you left late in the evening?”
Both girls were staring at Willow who just backed away, “I came back walking ok?!”
“For 6 hours? After what happened?” Kennedy sounded mad.
Buffy took over, “You wanna get killed or what?”
“And why did you tell me you took a cab? Why do you lie to me Willow, where were you?”
“I needed a walk that’s all, without you on my back, after what happened to my best friend it’s understandable, don’t you think?”
Kennedy moved closer,
“Yes it is, what is not is that you didn’t come back home to me. I haven’t been hurt like Xander was but I was hurt all the same. But even without this reason, just simply because you were feeling bad you should’ve come to me and I’d have comforted you, that’s what couples do.”
“Maybe we’re not a couple.” Willow replied tonelessly.
She left the garden and Kennedy had to sit on the bench so much Willow’s comment had cut her breath. Buffy was stunned too; she put her hand on the brunette’s shoulders tapping gently,
“Look, she didn’t mean it, she’s not herself these days but she needs you... what happened last night really shook her. Give her some time, she didn’t mean it.”
Buffy left, passing by Faith who was coming in her turn, Kennedy looked up at the dark slayer.
“Yes she did.” Kennedy breathed out.
Faith simply sat beside her. Kennedy looked devastated.
“That she did or not, there’s something wrong. I was gone long ok, but what I heard is not the Willow I’ve known.”
“Not the one I’ve known either.”
Both brunettes looked at each other, knowing.
~~~
Faith asked Buffy to talk to Willow but Buffy refused, saying Willow wasn’t ok right now but it would pass, and she threateningly told Faith to stay aside of it. They both argued again. The tension was growing between everyone in the house.
Willow was in the junk room preparing magic items and reading again, she looked up then a smile spread on her face,
“Thank God you’re here.”
Willow looked tense again, “I can’t do it alone baby, I feel, I feel-“
Tara bent over and whispered reassuringly,
Willow’s tears threatened to fall just like each time Tara was talking to her. Willow gulped and her throat was clenched,
“But I don’t think I can, and the guys they’re, they’re all, if I could tell-“
Willow sniffed and Tara added,
A bunch of potentials came running in the corridor making a big noise and Willow woke up with a jump and looked all around,
“Tara? Tara?”
**I fell asleep. I have to work it out, won’t let her down this time**
She thought for a while then rearranged the stuff and got out. She went to find Kennedy who was already in bed, under the cover, pretending to be asleep and holding back her tears. Willow crept under the covers too and put her arms around the brunette who turned around. She didn’t know what to tell her, Willow simply kissed her. Despite the questions crowding her mind Kennedy couldn’t help responding to the kiss and Willow deepened it. The witch ran her hand on the brunette’s chest, circling one of her tit. Kennedy moaned. They pulled away after a while, Kennedy looked very disturbed by the redhead’s behaviour, Willow smiled nicely at her,
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean that. I need you, Kennedy. I’m sorry for the way I acted... I need you to hold me.”
She cuddled into the brunette’s arms and Kennedy, despite her wondering mind, couldn’t help but hold her tight without any more words.
~~~
Willow wasn’t in bed when Kennedy woke up and it didn’t even surprise the potential. She found her girlfriend slightly laughing with Buffy. The atmosphere seemed less tensed, at least between the two friends. Kennedy smiled at them but couldn’t help being still worried. Willow was very nice all day long and acting casually. They brought Xander home that evening; it was an emotional moment for everyone.
Kennedy had wanted to talk more privately with Willow but Buffy had told her that she’d talked to her and that she was fine. With everything that had happened, she only needed space and time to think sometimes. Kennedy wasn’t convinced. Willow stayed very close to Xander all evening but this, Kennedy could understand.
Buffy explained that she thought there was something important in the vineyard and that they had to go and get it. Everyone argued about it and disagreed with her except for Willow who stayed silent. Faith calmed the situation down by sending all the potentials to sleep for the night, telling them that they, as in the leaders, will prepare a plan.
Buffy, whose leadership had been seriously weakened, didn’t protest as the potentials agreed with the dark slayer. Faith, Buffy, Giles and Willow went to the kitchen and sat at the table. Xander was very tired but he followed. Anya stayed in a corner next to Robin Wood, and Kennedy stood on another corner of the room.
Buffy was very pissed off at them and they all looked pretty determined. After much discussion they agreed to wait for Spike and Andrew to return in order to decide which way to attack. Willow didn’t participate much in the debate. Kennedy kept watching her carefully and she noticed the redhead looking by the window several times, just looking outside as if she was thinking about something else.
Then Robin went back to his home, Xander went to the living room with Giles to sleep. Anya and Dawn left to go to sleep too. Kennedy was waiting for Willow to go upstairs too. Faith and Buffy were talking some more while heading to the stairs.
Kennedy moved closer to Willow, “Are you coming?”
Willow looked at her with a smile, “In a minute.”
Kennedy didn’t move,
“Do you have something to do? Maybe I can help.”
“No, it’s ok, just making me some herb tea, I’ll join you in a moment, go ahead.”
Kennedy sat at the kitchen’s table, “It’s ok, I can wait here with you.”
Willow looked bothered suddenly. The two slayers observed the scene.
“You should come Kennedy, it’s late.”
Kennedy looked at Buffy in a did-I-ask-you-anything-? way.
“I’m not tired, good night.”
Kennedy just wanted to be left alone with Willow. Faith could understand it. The dark slayer stayed hung back though. Willow still looking bothered, almost afraid to be left alone with Kennedy and Buffy intervened again, more firmly this time,
“It’s kind of an order actually.”
Kennedy still looked still determined,
“I thought you’d gotten by now that we’re tired of your orders, Buffy.”
Buffy looked at her still firmly,
“Tired of it or not I’m still in charge here, if you’re not down with it you can still leave the house right now.”
Faith, knowing that pissed off Buffy was as stubborn as the young potential could be, knew this couldn’t go any better and the young brunette might actually leave the house by pride so she stepped into the talk,
“B maybe we should-“
“Stay out of this.” Buffy cut Faith who simply sighed.
Kennedy felt a knot clenching her throat; she looked at Willow who remained silent. Faith tried to give her a compassionate gaze for lack of the comforting gaze the young girl wasn’t receiving from Willow. Kennedy would not leave the house, not as long as Willow was in, but she was deeply hurt, she only showed her irritation though as she walked away to the stairs leaving to the rooms.
“Good night, Willow.” Buffy said before leaving, making sure Faith was following and leaving Willow alone in the kitchen...
PART 4
It
was the middle of the night and Faith was still awake; she could hear
Kennedy’s stifled sobs for a long part of the night. She
hesitated for a while to go talk to her but she didn’t. Too
many people in the room, too many things she couldn’t really
say, and too many things she didn’t know to be able to help.
She felt she’d be out of place and that Kennedy didn’t
even want anyone to hear her cry anyway...
Faith also noticed
that Willow came to bed only several hours later.
The potentials were all dressing up or already leaving the room when Faith woke up. The girls were all silent though since Willow, and Faith short seconds ago, were still sleeping.
Faith slowly stretched herself, the girls were all gone by now. The dark slayer noticed Kennedy was awake too and staring thoughtfully at the redhead beside her.
“Hey.” Faith whispered, Kennedy smiled at her in response and stared back at the redhead. Faith put her clothes very fast on and left the two girls alone with a nod.
Kennedy raised her hand to Willow’s face and caressed her cheeks and chin softly. Willow slightly moved her head backwards automatically though still half sleeping. Kennedy leaned in closer and started to place soft kisses in Willow’s neck. The witch moaned softly and opened her eyes while Kennedy moved her hand to the red head’s waist and started roaming it up to her chest.
Willow was fully awake now, “Kennedy.”
The brunette lifted her head up to Willow’s one and kissed her tenderly. She moved her hand to Willow’s breast and softly brushed against it. Willow exhaled deeply when Kennedy began kissing her neck again.
Willow gulped, “Kennedy I-I.”
The brunette stopped and looked at her with tenderness while caressing her face,
“I’ll wait Willow, I’ll wait till you’re ready... just, let me wait, allow me to wait please.”
Willow’s heart clenched at these honest words and all the attention on her that they were carrying. Kennedy’s love shown so much. Willow smiled at her with honesty as she could feel again that wave of hope she could always feel everytime Kennedy was giving her that loving and caring gaze.
“Thank you.” she told her raising her hand to the brunette’s cheek but then the witch’s gaze turned out more confused and slightly frightened as she glanced towards the door.
Kennedy frowned, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing, it’s fine.”
Willow
was trying hard to avoid looking behind the brunette... to avoid
looking at... her.
Kennedy asked Willow in a low voice, “It’s quiet here; you know I’m not asking you for anything you don’t want. I just thought we might be able to talk a little, just you and me, without anyone else.”
Willow looked behind Kennedy’s shoulders again so the brunette turned around with a frown but then looked at the witch again,
“Willow?”
“Err, yes, talk, yes, sure, I mean, what do you want to talk about?”
“No.” the redhead said and Kennedy frowned,
“I didn’t say anything,Willow.”
“Err, no yes, I know.”
Willow seemed very nervous.
“What?”
“Willow are you ok?”
Willow gulped and looked at Kennedy who was trying to figure out what was happening.
“Just talk to me, Willow. I’m here for you, please Willow.”
Willow stared intensely at Kennedy and pulled her closer into a kiss, the brunette responded but then pulled away when she felt Willow’s hand caressing her breast.
She stopped her, “Willow talk to me, what’s going on?”
“I want you, Kennedy. Just touch me, please.”
Kennedy looked at her for a short while without a word and Willow took Kennedy’s hand to lead it to her crotch but Kennedy stopped her and withdrew her hand,
“No Willow, you’re not ready.”
“Yes baby, I’m ready, I’m so ready for you.”
Kennedy felt tears coming back in the back of her eyes. Willow’s tears sarted gathering too at the sight of the brunette’s ones,
“Don’t cry baby, make love to me please. I need you to take me, Kennedy.”
Kennedy placed a soft kiss on the witch’s lips and whispered,
“Please, please talk to me Willow, tell me what's happening to you, this isn't the way, please.” she almost pleaded.
Willow’s tears started to fall and she moved aside,
“I can’t, I can’t, it’s for you, you don’t understand. I can’t do that... No, no don’t say that!”
“Willow I didn’t say anything, God Willow what's happening to you?”
Willow got up; she was breathing with difficulty and she looked very disturbed,
“I can’t, I can’t, I’m sorry.”
She left the room and Kennedy sighed, then she started looking all around her with suspicions.
~~~
Buffy was in deep talk with Giles and Xander to agree on a plan while Kennedy was talking to Faith.
Buffy sighed, “Faith come here!”
“Hey, not your dog B. I’m coming in a minute.”
Buffy looked very irritated already,
“No, you’re coming now! You wanna help us or not? Just go back to LA otherwise.”
Faith moved closer to her in a threatening way,
“You’re really pissing me off, B”
“We don’t have time to waste with conflicts right now!” Giles intervened.
“We don’t have time to waste with anything actually.” Buffy said, pointing out Kennedy,
“So if miss never-satisfied over there is done with her last prob of the day we can start talking about maybe... saving the world, what do you think?”
Kennedy left with a pissed off look.
Faith took Buffy’s arm and dragged her further away into the other room.
“Hey, let me go!”
Buffy shoved Faith’s hand away and was about to slap her but Faith parried the hit and pushed Buffy hard against the wall,
“Now you shut up and listen to me, Buffy.”
Buffy sighed in exasperation, “What?”
“Ok. It’s Willow.”
Buffy raised her brows, already bothered.
“Don’t react like that Buffy, it’s big. I think it’s The First, it’s trying to do... something, I don’t know.”
Buffy put her hands on her hips,
“You think?”
Faith looked aside for a short while and Buffy nodded,
“That’s what I thought. So, let’s rather say miss potential slayer thinks that The First is in the game with Willow?”
“Honestly Buffy, I agree with her.”
“You
do, yeah, well let me tell you, you don’t know Willow and
Kennedy doesn’t either. For your guidance The First already
tried to take on Willow, it tried to make her kill herself. But
Willow’s stronger than this, she’s smarter as well. She
knows well, she wouldn’t be that stupid. So now the thing is
that we’re losing time with small things instead of focusing on
the big deal and this, only for a matter of heart. I’m sorry
for Kennedy if Willow’s not returning the feelings, I really
am, but that’s all it is, there’s no reasons to alarm
everyone, it’s only bothering Willow some more. There’s
nothing wrong with Willow, nothing but the fact that she lost Tara
almost a year ago and also she knows... she knows that I can’t
save us this time...”
Buffy trailed off and Faith looked
bothered
Buffy really looked defeated and these words were unfortunately spoken with honesty.
“Don’t say that, Buffy.”
“I shouldn’t, I know. And that’s why I’m trying my best. That’s why I need you to back me up too. I don’t have time to lose with this kind of things or I... I’m never gonna do it, you understand?”
Faith nodded,
“I do. I’m here Buffy, I’m here for the fight and I’ll do whatever it takes. I understand your position but... I just think you’re wrong about Willow.”
Faith slowly moved backwards to go join Giles and Xander. Buffy sighed thoughtfully then joined them too.
Giles looked at the slayers, “I think we have a few ideas, where is Willow?”
Faith raised her brows with a look at Buffy,
“That’s a good question.”
Buffy hesitated but admitted, “Well I- I don’t know.”
Faith gave her a how-surprising-? gaze but Buffy went on,
“She probably went with Anya and Rona to the superstore, probably.”
Buffy was very thoughtful though.
PART 5
Willow came back indeed with Anya and Rona from the superstore and Buffy gave Faith a see-I-told-ya gaze but Faith wasn’t convinced at all.
The
rest of the day went by slowly; they talked about their new plan;
kidnapping one of the bringers and trying to make it talk.
Kennedy
was to play the bait. The mission succeeded but they all came back
from the basement with very disappointed faces.
Faith raised her eyebrows at their faces, “It’s that bad? We just have to die then.”
Giles raised his brows scolding and Buffy said,
“Not funny, Faith. Anyway it’s not that, he can’t talk, tongue is cut.”
Faith sighed, they all sat more or less defeated around the kitchen's table
“So what now?”
Giles cleared his throat, “Well I guess we just have to find another plan, Willow did you find anything more on the files about Caleb? Willow?”
The redhead was looking on the right and seemingly not listening to them. Kennedy moved closer and touched her shoulder,
“Willow?”
Willow gave a jump, “Yes of course!”
They were surprised.
“Do you mean you found something?”
Willow frowned at her best friend,
“Huh? No. The bringer, she-I know a spell to make him talk, I think I can do it.”
“What Spell?”
Willow got up in a hurry and didn't reply Kennedy’s question,
“I’ll be back in a sec.”
Faith and Kennedy gave each other sceptic gazes but Buffy smiled,
“That’s my girl.”
After Willow’s spell they managed to make the bringer talk; they learned about a stock of weapons intended for the final fight.
Buffy was very reluctant towards that plan, she was still persuaded that there was something at the vineyard. Giles and her argued again but Willow calmed them all telling them they just had to go to the weapons location then once Spike would be back, they could go to the vineyard attacking full force. Everyone then went back to its own occupation as to not think about the coming attack and the disagreement. Kennedy was searching for Willow again, she went to Buffy,
“Did you see Willow?”
Buffy sighed,
“She’s probably sleeping right now and you should do the same, tomorrow’s gonna be hard.”
“She’s not in the room, not in any of the rooms in fact.”
Xander walked in at that moment,
“It’s cool Kennedy, she took my car; she needed some books at the library.”
Kennedy raised her brows, “And you let her go? Alone?”
“No, she took Faith with her.”
“Yes
me what?”
Faith asked as she entered the room, Xander
frowned, confused, “Oh,”
“That means you're not
with Willow.”
“Obviously not, why? Where is she?”
Kennedy headed to the door, taking her jacket but Buffy held her back,
“No you’re not going out.”
“I do what I want, maybe you don’t care but I’m not letting her all alone out there.”
“Can’t you just think for one second?! You have ten thousands less chances to survive outside on your own than she does. She’s strong you seem off too quick to forget about that.”
Buffy then gave the potential a nicer look as she told her more gently,
“Look Kennedy I’m gonna go outside to find her ok, in the meantime I think you should try to leave her more space, mostly now. Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of Tara’s death. This is why Willow’s acting more or less focusing on us, on you. Just give her some time and focus on your mission and it will work it out itself, ok?”
Faith moved closer and added,
“We’ll find her; I’m going with Buffy ok?”
Kennedy reluctantly put her jacket back and climbed the stairs, she looked very down. Buffy and Faith left the house but Buffy turned around,
“You should stay here, with Willow out, the house is unprotected. I want someone strong enough to protect the girls, stay in.”
“But I told her I would look for Willow.”
“Yeah and I told her things would work out, so be relieved you’re not the only liar, now go back inside.”
“Why are you acting that way, Buffy?”
“I’m not acting any way. Everything is fucked up, this plan is fucked up, the solution is not there... it’s at the vineyard I know that.”
“We’ll work on that, Buffy.”
“When? When we’ll all be dead? Soon there’ll be nothing to work out for them, for us. I have to stop that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing.”
“I know you, B.”
“Nothing I swear, now go back inside and make sure she stays in too. I’ll bring Willow back.”
Buffy left and Faith stayed in the house.
~~~
Buffy went to the public library but didn’t find Willow though she could feel the redhead had indeed been there earlier, Buffy suddenly frowned,
“How stupid.”
She realized she had her cell phone with herself; she dialled Willow’s number but got no response.
**Willow where are you?**
Buffy thought for a short while before leaving the library in a hurry.
**of course, why didn't I think about it sooner?**
Buffy headed to the cemetery in which Tara was buried, persuaded to find Willow there; she was stopped on her way by 10 bringers. She killed them all but then was stopped a few minutes later by 5 vampires and 2 demons. She was surrounded for a short while but then the vampires turned to dust in front of her, she looked surprised then smiled,
“Was wondering when you’d be back.”
The blonde vampire smiled back and they killed the last beasties and Buffy’s cell phone rang, she looked at it and sighed reassured,
“God Willow, where are you?”
“Home? You went back right after the library? Yes, yes no, of course I believe you Will. Ok, I’ll be back soon then. Goodnight Will.”
Buffy sighed and hung up, she looked at Spike,
“How did you find me?”
“Went back home, dropped the little boy, heard about red’s missing and thought I could give you a hand.”
Buffy smiled thoughtfully,
“Yes, yes you can indeed.”
She started walking away, not to her house’s direction and Spike followed...
~~~
Morning came; everyone was up very early and slightly nervous. Faith went downstairs. Kennedy went to find Willow who was sitting in the kitchen, looking seriously at a map. She seemed even more edgy than the potentials.
“Hi, how are you doing?”
Willow gave her a slight smile,
“Fine.” she then looked behind her,
“Xander could you give me the north side map please?”
He came and gave it to her then left for the living room.
Kennedy went on, “You didn’t sleep in the room last night.”
“Yeah, I stayed in the living room.”
“Well, not in this house’s one at least.”
Willow looked at her, surprised, and Kennedy added,
“I asked to enough people to know you didn’t even sleep in the house last night. Don-“
“I told you to stop that, stop spying on me.”
“I’m worried for you, Willow.”
“Well right now, Buffy’s the one you should be worried about?”
Kennedy frowned and Willow added,
“She didn’t come back either, her cell phone’s not working.”
“God you think?”
“I’m pretty sure she’s still alive but-. Spike is with her and Faith thinks that she might try the vineyard again.”
“On her own?”
“Well, I don’t know.”
Willow moved closer and tried to sound nice,
“I know you worry Kennedy but there’s nothing to worry about. Or ok there is a lot and that’s why we’re all stressed out but you don’t have to think about that, right now Faith needs you. Just focus on the mission, it’ll all be fine. I’m fine, I’m very fine.”
Kennedy looked sceptic,
“What about Buffy? What does Faith say?”
“She said it was her call, she just asked us to try and locate her, that’s what I’m about to do, in the meantime Faith is gonna go down there. Hopefully we’ll find Buffy in time for her join them.”
There was a hubbub coming from the living room as the girls were all following Faith to the door. Willow kissed Kennedy softly on the cheek,
“Be careful.” and she went back to the kitchen’s table on which she was preparing a locator spell. Kennedy didn’t have more time to think as Faith called her.
PART 6
The girls were walking silently and carefully in a dark tunnel when they caught sight of many weapons stocked in a corner. The bringer hadn't lied.
Vi asked, “We found it. Why aren’t they protecting it?”
Faith looked suspicious,
“Watch your back, they’re maybe not far unless...” she trailed off but Kennedy ended the sentence,
“Unless she was right.”
“Who?” was Rona’s question. Faith looked all around,
“Buffy.”
Faith just had the time to shout to Kennedy,
“Behind!”
The potential swung around avoiding just in time a bringer’s knife and other bringers attacked them from everywhere. The girls started fighting bravely. Faith looked worriedly in Kennedy’s direction as the young brunette was attacked by bringers on every side of her while some of the others girls had barely one to fight. Faith didn't waste time, breaking bringers’ neck and stabbing them, shoving them off her way to go help the brunette potential who, despite her skills, was surrounded by them.
They finally killed them all. Faith took Kennedy’s arm to look at a large cut; the brunette was also cut on the shoulder and slightly on the cheek.
Kennedy pulled away, “It’s nothing.”
“Ya, you’ll live.” Faith said but then both brunette slightly shrugged raising their brows.
Rona came closer, “Wow... they didn’t like your hair-cut or maybe you smell?”
The black girl’s tone was light but what she said was already on both brunettes’ mind as they were both wondering why Kennedy had been so much of a target for the bringers. They were stopped in their thoughts by a blonde potential’s call,
“Hey Faith, there’s something there.”
Faith was already close to the girl and took the flashlight from her hand as she walked ahead; they all followed, approaching a locked metal box on the ground. Faith opened it and understood it really was a trap... but too late. The bomb exploded.
~~~
Buffy was walking in the same area. When the sun had risen she’d let Spike in a random house after he’d helped her distract the bringers while she was dealing with Caleb, stealing a powerful, as she could sense it, weapon. Then she’d called home to have news. That’s why she was walking nearby the tunnel. She felt the explosion resounding under her feet, deep in the ground and she hurried to find a way down.
~~~
In the meantime, under ground, the still alive potentials were slowly getting up, helping the most injured ones, leaving the dead on the ground. They spotted Faith drowned in some water and immediately got her out. Kennedy began taking charge of the group as the girls were slightly panicking. They were trying to find their way out when they were attacked by an Uber vamp, the girls freaked out first but Kennedy held them together until another Turok-Han showed up.
Kennedy kept placing herself in first line, the girls behind her as another Uber vamp arrived. Kennedy tried to fight it but the Turok-Han broke the improvised stake she'd made herself. It threw her to the ground in the process. Rona went to her help, hitting the Turok-Han with a big stone but the Turok-Han didn’t even bother fighting with her, he pushed her hard on the side and directly went to Kennedy again, lifting her by the neck, she was suffocating until suddenly a big smash resounded and Buffy arrived from above, creating a hole of day light, she got rid of the three Turok-Han very fast with her new toy. Each of the girls felt attracted by this weapon.
Buffy rushed to them, “Where’s Fa-“ she stopped as she noticed the dark slayer on the ground, she immediately rushed to her and checked her pulse,
“Thank God.” and she took her in her arms,
“Let’s go, more are coming.”
~~~
It was hospital central at the Summers’ house. Girls lying on the floor everywhere. Anya, Dawn, Andrew, Xander were playing ER on them, bandaging and disinfecting as much as they could. Buffy didn’t bother to check or say anything; she just carried Faith upstairs in her room and lied her down on the bed,
“Willow! Willow!” Buffy called, the redhead arrived from her room in which she was searching for more covers and stuff for the girls,
“Oh God.”
“Is she gonna be alright? Is she gonna be alright?”
Buffy sounded panicky, Willow hesitantly replied,
“I-I don’t know, Buffy.”
Buffy gently pushed Faith’s wet locks off of her face then shook her head and went to the bathroom, she took a facecloth and came back to clean the brunette’s face. She then started to undress her as her top was completely damp. Willow then moved backwards running in the corridor meaning to go back downstairs to search for Kennedy as she had not seen her yet though she’d been told she was alright. The brunette was coming towards her at that moment. Willow stopped moving for a short while when she saw Kennedy’s pallid face,
“I’m fine, Willow.” the brunette told her in a trying-to-sound-strong voice.
The redhead then shook her head and dragged the fatigued potential to their room, she got her rid of her jacket and started bandaging her arm. Willow’s heart clenched each time her gaze fell on the red marks around Kennedy’s throat. Kennedy was very pale but soon Willow was as white as her and Kennedy held her tight, half wanting to reassure her that she was ok, and half because she thought she was gonna faint as Willow had started disinfecting a huge cut at her waist caused by the explosion. Willow continued bandaging her but tears were forming in her eyes.
“It’s ok, Willow. I’m fine.”
Willow looked very sad, “We’re gonna die, we’re all gonna die.”
“No we’re not, I promise you Willow I-“
“Don’t, don’t, I can’t, I can’t do that again.”
Willow got up and left the room,
“Willow! Willow!” Kennedy meant to get up but her legs wouldn’t respond and she collapsed on the bed instead and stayed on it actually... too tired to move.
~~~
After a while Buffy went back downstairs and checked on the other potentials. Anya and Andrew had gone to the hospital to bring some real supplies to heal the injured girls.
The slayer walked closer to Xander,
“Where’s Kennedy? Where’s Willow? and I didn’t see Carrie either?”
“She’s in the back, she’s ok, I don’t know for Willow and last time I checked Kennedy was sleeping upstairs, she really took a nasty knock this time.”
Buffy raised her brows,
“Yeah, kinda the result when you take a bomb in the face.”
Vi was resting in a corner, “That was atrocious.”
Rona added, “But we weren’t the closest ones; otherwise we’d be dead, apart if we were Faith of course.”
Vi went on,
“Kennedy was already injured before the bomb anyway.”
Buffy and Xander frowned and Rona added,
“Yeah and with the Turok-Han it didn’t arrange anything, she tried to protect us.”
Vi put her hand on Rona’s shoulder, “You helped her too.”
Rona shrugged,
“Anyway, seemed the Turok-Han wasn’t more focused on us than the bringers were.”
Buffy moved closer, “What do you mean?”
Rona looked hesitant,
“Well, I don’t know what the tension is all about between all of you but all I can say is that their main target was Kennedy, not us... well sure, if the bomb had killed us all that would have been 2 birds with one stone but...“
“That’s because she’s always putting herself first, you said it, she tried to protect you that’s why it laid into her first.”
Rona shrugged and slowly get up,
“Maybe, seriously I don’t know, but it’s really not clear anyway.”
“You should both go upstairs, take a shower and rest, you’ve been very courageous.”
Both potentials left upstairs slowly as to not feel the numerous cut and scalds they had everywhere.
Buffy
looked very perplexed. She continued searching everywhere in the
house for Willow who was nowhere to be found.
Buffy spent a few
minutes with Faith who was still unconscious but she couldn’t
stand that sight either anymore; it brought back too many memories.
Buffy opened Willow’s room; Dawn was taking care of Kennedy who was awake now.
“Are you alright?”
“Kickin'”
Kennedy looked very sad, Buffy hesitantly asked,
“Was everything... err, normal down there?”
Dawn, as well as Kennedy, frowned and Buffy added,
“I mean, did you notice anything in particular?”
Kennedy and Buffy were staring at each other, Buffy had in mind what Rona and Vi told her about the bringers and Turok-Hans' fierceness on the brunette, but Kennedy turned her head the other way,
“No.”
she simply replied.
Buffy nodded, “Ok.”
The slayer looked unsure but left, she went out in the garden and she took deep breaths as to prevent herself from crying out of stress. Xander arrived behind her and gently rubbed her back,
“There’s nothing you could have done Buffy, and you were right about the vineyard. And we’re gonna find a way now, with the scythe we have something to work on.”
Buffy pulled herself together,
“Yes we do, but I need Willow. I have to talk to her... seriously this time, I don’t know where-”
“I think she’s probably at the cemetery, it's today... A year ago.”
“I know, but I think she’s going too far down memory lane if you know what I mean.”
“Yes but she-“
Xander stopped as Willow appeared at the entrance of the garden, not daring to enter.
Buffy turned around,
“Will, come here please, we gotta talk.”
Willow didn’t move.
“Willow what’s wrong?” Xander asked her.
The red head moved forward dragging someone with her, she was holding her hand. Xander squeezed Buffy’s arm at the shock and Buffy looked stunned as Willow was walking towards them, hand in hand with Tara.
PART 7
Buffy and Xander were stuck, unable to move as the 2 girls were coming closer. It was a year ago, suddenly it was yesterday, it was today... Them again, Xander, Buffy, Willow and Tara, in the garden, both girls coming by the exact same entrance Warren appeared on that cursed day that took away Tara’s life... Tara.
Buffy
and Xander were staring at her unable to breathe or react. The girls
were holding hands, it was real, it wasn’t The First. The
blonde witch looked a bit frightened, walking slightly behind Willow.
The redhead stopped a few steps in front of them and they kept
staring at each other for a long while then she said in a calm voice,
“She’s back.”
She squeezed the dark-blonde girl’s hand. Buffy and Xander stared even more intensely at Tara. She looked exactly the same as when she died.
“Now, everything is gonna be alright.”
On this Willow began walking again, passing by her friends, still holding Tara’s hand. Buffy forced herself out of her torpor,
“Wait- Willow, wait please, we-I-God, Willow I-, what?”
She stopped and Willow smiled at her,
“I could do it... and I did, that’s all that matters.”
“Tara?” Xander hesitantly tried.
The blonde girl looked at him, she still looked a bit lost but gave him a shy smile and he smiled too, still very amazed. Buffy pulled herself together even more,
“But how? I mean, why didn’t you tell us anything? And-“
Buffy looked at Tara,
“How is sh- how are... you, I mean... Tara?”
Like Xander, the name was spoken with a hint of hope. Tara smiled even more and Buffy put her hand on her mouth as it finally hit her truly.
“My God.”
Willow smiled, “Yes, yes she’s back, she came back to me, it’s really her.”
The dark-blonde girl had still not spoken a word and Willow walked again towards the house. Buffy and Xander stayed for a short while still, as if glued in the garden, processing the thought, before joining them.
~~~
Anya and Andrew had just come back from the hospital; they were in the living room with Giles and Dawn, taking care of the potential slayers. Willow and Tara arrived from the kitchen, Anya gasped at the sight, Giles and Andrew looked up,
“God, oh God.” Andrew looked panicky. Dawn frowned at him and turned around, she dropped the bandages she had in hands.
“Tara, Tara.” She repeated.
Willow smiled at the young Summers in a nodding way and the dark-blonde witch smiled at her too. Dawn hurried to her arms, dropping any thoughts of how and when and why, she just couldn’t help but holding her tight and Tara let go of Willow’s hand to hold the young girl. Buffy couldn’t believe it. They were all completely lost and wondering, but so hopeful at the same time.
“Dawn,” Were the first word they heard Tara say,
“Ssh, it’s alright.”
They all finally breathe again, not realizing they were holding their breath, but Tara’s voice was still the same, soothing, calm and appeasing. The calm and peace they had all been seeking for so desperately for the last months and they remembered, by her tone, what it was... What it was that to be with her. She was that calm, that wisdom and that peace. Always had been; the big sister, the mom for the gang in some ways. And they wanted to believe in that wave of hope that overcame their mind at that moment.
Giles cleared his throat and walked closer, looking at Willow,
“What, err, what did you do?”
His tone wasn’t harsh but very curious and attentive, Dawn pulled away, she was crying, Willow was hesitant. Tara took her hand again and looked at her reassuringly and Willow replied,
“I brought her back.”
“Yes I-, I see that but... how?”
Tara spoke instead of Willow,
“She found a way, but it’s me, it’s... me.”
Giles moved back a little as Buffy and Xander moved closer. The watcher remained very disturbed in his thoughts and watching carefully.
Buffy asked the blonde witch very gently, “How- how are you feeling?”
Buffy remembered how she was feeling when she was brought back though Tara didn’t look as dismantled as she did.
Tara inhaled deeply,
“Honestly, I don’t know. It feels like I’ve been... sleeping... Everything is still a haze but I don’t remember anything than being with you, all, and then... gone... asleep and now... it’s confusing but-“
“It’s nothing like you Buffy,“ Willow interrupted, “She’s fine, she’ll be fine. She was meant to stay with us. This is where she belongs, with us, with me.”
Xander asked, “You don’t remember anything?”
“No, not yet at least, nothing.”
Willow squeezed Tara's hand even more. They were all staring at them so Willow started walking up the stairs,
“She needs to rest now. We need to be alone.”
Buffy hesitantly said, “Err Willow err-“
The blonde slayer looked embarrassed and the others understood what she was about to say,
“What about- hum I mean, be careful with-. Kennedy is upstairs, in your room.”
A very bothered veil spread on Willow’s face, she looked sad at the thought.
Tara looked lost and asked in a very low voice, “Who is Kennedy?”
Willow looked a bit fearful and ashamed and mostly speechless, “Err, it’s hum, well...”
Tara took Willow’s other hand,
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter; let’s just go to some place quiet, shall we?”
Her tone was still very soothing and Willow looked at her in complete abandon and smiled with wonder,
“Yes, yes, anything for you.”
They walked downstairs and entered the basement closing the door behind them under the others’ still puzzled gaze. Dawn was still crying and Giles said,
“Let’s keep our head cool, we’ll need to talk about this again.”
“This is so... unbelievable.”
Xander still looked stunned.
Buffy looked at the stairs, “I’m gonna check on Faith and... I guess we should talk with... Kennedy, first, before she sees... Well, I should talk to her.”
Buffy climbed the stairs while the others remained downstairs checking out the basement’s door expectantly.
~~~
Buffy opened her bedroom and walked slowly towards Faith. She sat on the bed beside her and looked at her for a short while then raised her hand to the brunette’s face to caress her gently. She leaned in closer and placed a soft kiss on the brunette’s lips, barely brushing against them before pulling away and whispering,
“You need to wake up, Faith. I need you in this. I can’t do it without you.”
Buffy felt a hand on her shoulder and gave a jump, it was Xander; they stared at each other for a short while before Buffy stammered,
“It’s, it’s not what- it didn’t mean-”
He gently squeezed her shoulder again,
“It’s ok Buffy, I understand, I-I do. I just came here to see if you didn’t need help with... Kennedy, this is still stuff I can help with. This-“ he said giving a glance at Faith before going on,
“This is slayers’ stuff. This is yours and I do get now that it’s not a part you can share with us. I really do understand.”
He gave her a comforting gaze and she smiled at him,
“Thank you.”
She got up, “Now, on to the bad stuff.”
They headed to the other room. They knocked and walked in as they received no reply. Kennedy was in it though but she was sitting, looking defeated on the bed. She looked very down. Buffy moved closer and sat beside her, Xander closed the door and stayed next to it. Kennedy kept looking at the tapestry.
Buffy hesitantly began, “How are you feeling?”
Kennedy didn’t reply but a tear fell down her cheeks. Xander looked sad at this. Buffy meant to wipe it away but Kennedy moved a bit backwards and wipe it away herself.
“It’s ok to cry Kennedy; it’s hard to lose friends in the battlefield, to not being able to save them all. I understand that. But you really can’t, the girls told me what you did. Some of them are probably still alive thanks to you. You did the only thing there was to do, you took charge and led them to the exit to save their lives, and you saved Faith’s life as well, all of you. You have the right to cry now.”
Kennedy sniffed but tried her best to pull herself together. She didn’t want to cry, not in front of them. She had so much anger and pain inside of her but she wouldn’t talk. Nothing was going right; Willow, The First, and these people were not friends. To Kennedy they were even part of the not going right thing with Willow, and she felt so helpless right now. Her mind turned that feeling into silence and withdrawal into herself. She hadn’t said a word to anyone except to Willow since they'd come, or just few banalities like yes or no.
Buffy looked more serious now,
“Ok,
this is probably not the best moment but... Kennedy, there’s
something we have to tell you and-“ she trailed off,
Xander
moved closer.
Kennedy frowned, “Willow’s alright?” was her first question to their worried look.
“Yes, yes she is.” Xander reassured her very fast. Buffy took one of Kennedy’s hands in hers which made the brunette frowned even more,
“Something happened. Willow did something and... Tara is back.”
PART 8
Buffy thought that Kennedy was going to die right away as the brunette became white, but she stayed still.
Xander moved closer, “Kennedy?”
She looked totally distraught. If the shock wasn’t so fresh in her mind, paralysing her, she would have been laughing at them for the joke. She was still staring at them, hoping they were kidding but unable to find a real hope in her heart that they were. She knew they weren’t.
Buffy went on,
“She did a spell or something and... Tara is here, she’s a bit disturbed but apparently ok and-“
“She’s dead.”
Xander looked upset at Kennedy’s words; Buffy squeezed the brunette’s hand,
“She’s alive.”
Kennedy withdrew her hand very fast and Buffy tried again,
“Look Kennedy I know how you feel about Wi-“
“Don’t. Don’t talk to me like you understand, don’t talk to me like we’re friends.”
Kennedy got up and so did Buffy,
“Ok. But there are some things you’re gonna have to understand Kennedy.”
Kennedy spoke before the slayer said anymore, “That Willow doesn’t love me I already got it. But that someone dead is now alive will never be something I’ll ever have to understand because... it’s wrong.”
“Kennedy you-“
“No!”
Kennedy moved forward, “Don’t you get it? People don’t come back from the dead.”
“I did.”
“And for what result?!”
Buffy looked down, thinking again that her come back from the dead caused The First’s rising, but she immediately pulled herself together again,
“Things happen in this town Kennedy; you’re still new to that whole world.”
“I know more than you think. I know what it took to bring you back and I know for sure there are no other ways and no other reasons to do it. Whoever came back is NOT Tara.”
Kennedy moved to the door, opening it fast but Buffy grabbed her arm,
“Kennedy!”
“Let go of me!”
Buffy pulled the potential inside the room again and put herself in front of the door,
“I can’t let you go out of this room if it’s to make a scene. We can’t afford that now. Not in front of the girls, not in front of Willow and Tara. They’re talking right now.”
“You mean Willow’s alone with her?!” Kennedy interjected.
“She’s perfectly ok, Kennedy. Now you have to calm down. Look, this is as much of a shock for all of us as it is for you. No one really understands and no one is taking it lightly but... she’s here that you want it or not, and right now the best thing you have to do is... accept it and wait.”
Kennedy stepped back a little, trying to calm down. She sat on the bed and took her head in her hands. Xander moved closer and gently rubbed her back,
“I’m sorry, Kennedy. It’s... but we’re all gonna watch them carefully as long as doubts remain, ok?”
Kennedy looked up at him but then stared at Buffy and got up,
“I don’t accept that. I have to see Willow.”
She moved closer but Buffy stood straight in front of the door,
“Kennedy, I honestly want you to stay with us, we need you here, but we need to be united. If you can’t accept that you won’t be able to stay here and I, again, really don’t want that to happen.”
Kennedy gave a sigh out, half laughing nervously before saying,
“They really scored, she’s not here for a minute and I’m already thrown out.”
Xander tried to give her a comforting gaze,
“We’re not throwing you out Kennedy, really not. We need to stay together in this. This is a critical step, we just ask you to put your personal feelings aside for a while, until we find a solution to our little apocalypse problem. I think you can understand that.”
Kennedy took a deep breath.
“The ball is in your court but again, I don’t want you to go, no one does.”
Kennedy lightly smiled ironically at the last words of Buffy, but she stayed silent for a while before saying,
“Ok. But I need to see Willow... and that girl.”
“Kennedy.”
“I won’t make a scene but I don’t want Willow alone with her.”
Kennedy crossed her arms on her chest, very determined. Buffy was going to object but Xander talked first,
“Maybe she’s right on that, I mean... well anyway that would maybe let her see that Willow is safe and make it easier to accept it.”
Buffy thought for a short while and reluctantly opened the door.
~~~
Giles and the others watched as Kennedy went downstairs, carefully surrounded by Buffy and Xander. The brunette looked very focused, they headed towards the basement. Buffy knocked at the door but Kennedy opened it, entering it before the blonde slayer could hold her back. The brunette rushed in but stopped in her track. Buffy and Xander could feel the hurt in Kennedy’s eyes at the sight of the two girls snuggled up into each other’s arms on Spike’s cot. Tara was back against the wall and Willow was sitting in between her legs, her back against Tara’s chest and her head was resting on the witch’s shoulder. Their fingers were intermingled on Willow’s stomach. All that before Kennedy arrived of course as her arrival caused Willow to move away and get up. She stayed in front of Tara though, as if to protect her. The red head and the potential were staring at each other.
“This isn’t right, Willow.” Kennedy half pleaded.
Willow looked upset and could feel the brunette’s breaking heart and it hurt her very much,
“I know, I-I should’ve told you something but I-“
“No.” Kennedy said cutting her before adding, “I’m not talking about us. I’m talking about her.”
Kennedy stared at Tara who looked completely misplaced.
“Her being here isn’t right, you know that Willow. You know.”
Willow gulped but tears came to her face,
“No, what wasn’t right was her being taken away from me; this is what wasn’t right.”
Kennedy was holding back her tears,
“Willow, I know you're hurting but this is NOT her.”
Tara got up, intermingling fingers with Willow as she took her hand and said in a very calm and nice tone,
“I don’t know who you are but I can tell you that I am the first one having a hard time to understand all of this. And I think we can all talk about this, just sit around at a table and calmly discuss-“
“No,” Kennedy just said and, riveting her eyes in the blonde witch’s ones she added,
“Damn right you don’t know who I am. But I know who you are. I won’t let you fool me by your soft voice and nice gaze, you-“
”Enough!” Buffy said cutting Kennedy and moving towards her she added,
“I thought we were clear.”
“Oh we’re very clear; I know what I need to know.”
Xander moved closer too, trying to calm them down,
“It’s ok, look Kennedy, Willow is safe, Tara is not gonna... I mean; see, everything is, well... ok.”
Kennedy turned towards Willow, “Yes it is, don’t you think Willow?”
Willow didn’t reply and Tara tried,
“Let’s start all over, shall we? I want to know you and that everything goes fine. I’m Tara, and you are?”
Kennedy looked at Willow expectantly, waiting to see what she was going to say
Willow gulped, “Tara, this is, err, Kennedy, she’s, she’s one of the potential slayers I told you about.”
Kennedy smiled nervously, “Yes, this is who I am... one of the potentials, ain’t that right Willow?”
Willow looked at the floor. Kennedy turned around with a serious gleam and walked upstairs. Willow looked at her walking away and meant to go after her when Tara squeezed her hand imperceptibly for the others to notice. Willow looked at her and Tara whispered,
“It’s gonna be alright, I’m here now.”
Willow just held her tight and Tara smiled. The others left them alone.
~~~
Kennedy walked silently up the stairs under everyone’s wondering gaze. She, still silently and calmly, went to her room and closed the door behind her. She stood straight in the middle of the room, staring at a picture of Willow and Tara that was always on Willow’s desk, in a frame. She stared at it for a while before moving slowly towards it, she took it in her hands, still staring intensely at it before throwing it violently against the wall, she then swept away with rage everything that was on the desk before punching in the wall clock and breaking it, she didn’t stop and took a baseball bat that was in the corner and started hitting on the cupboard with it until someone held her strongly from behind, blocking her arms in front of her and trying to calm her down as Kennedy was struggling.
“It’s ok, it’s ok.”
It was Faith’s voice. The dark slayer went to her knees forcing the young potential with her to the ground, blocking her as long as she was still struggling. Faith was just waiting for the younger brunette’s fit of rage to pass. After a short while Kennedy stopped struggling, she began crying instead and Faith released her grip, taking her by the shoulders to make her look at her,
“You are not alone.”
Kennedy was crying very much, all the anxiety, the fear and the pain of the last few days, the last few battles finally getting the best of her nerves, she was choking,
“Do I have to lose everything?”
Faith, despite her usual detachment, couldn’t help being touched by these words, and feeling that there definitely was a story behind that always proud and arrogant girl, and despite her will to never get attached, she did feel moved.
“We’ll find a way, you’re not alone.”
Kennedy dug her nails in Faith’s arms. Faith knew the young brunette was at the edge; rage and pain were not a good mix. Faith knew that gaze so well, she knew that feeling so very well too.
She shook her a bit,
“Hey, don’t give them a reason to kick you out of here, you hear me! If you let them kick you out of here, she wins, and I gotta say you’re not the only one not wanting that to happen. I’m with you on that but we gotta play it smart ok?” Kennedy nodded while sniffing. Faith got up helping the potential with her.
“It’s not over till it’s over, remember?”
They both stared at each other, knowing, then Buffy started to knock at the door as Faith had locked it.
PART 9
“Open up! Open up, what’s going on in there?!”
Faith barely had the time to head to the door before Buffy break it down, she stumbled face to face with the brunette whom she didn’t know had awaken. Buffy’s face expression changes immediately, she stared at her very taken aback,
“Faith.” she just said and the brunette gave her a natural laidback look despite her pale face,
“Yep. Careful with the furniture B, no wonder why everything has been replaced in the house, what’s the rush? I was gonna open.”
Buffy pulled herself together,
“I didn’t know you were awake.”
“Woke up five minutes ago, I was in the bathroom when-“ Faith trailed off sharing a glance with Kennedy.
“I guess you were woken up by the yelling, well mostly Kennedy’s I guess.” Buffy said looking around at the smashed room.
Faith still looked very natural, “No... It wasn’t her pulling me out of my... sleep.”
Faith and Buffy stared at each other intensely. Buffy gulped as she understood Faith probably heard her when she came in her room few minutes ago.
“Anyway, I was in the bathroom and so was Rona, she filled me in a little then I heard Ken and- well, it’s cool now anyway.”
Buffy looked surprised. Faith glanced at Kennedy, winking at her reassuringly, the brunette potential was still silent as she still wasn’t sure of what she would say anyway. She just nodded. Buffy frowned and looked accusingly at the broken stuff on the floor and at Kennedy,
“What were you doing in here? I mean, what did you two talk about?”
Faith naturally replied,
“Told her that she’ll never beat me with the crossbows, it kinda put her in a bad mood but it’s over now, isn’t it?”
“I’m serious Faith, Kennedy needs to-“
“Go take a bath yes I know. Go ahead K, bathroom’s free.”
Buffy sighed at Faith’s switching interruption. Faith gave a nodding gaze at Kennedy and went on,
“B and I need to talk.”
Kennedy started to leave giving Faith a thankful gaze, she closed the door and Buffy started immediately,
“What are you doing, Faith? If Rona told you then you know it’s big, the last thing Kennedy needs is being comforted in her denial. She needs to get over it. I won’t tolerate her fits of violence.”
Faith sighed,
“Come on, B. Violence? That? You’re kidding me, right? Look, girl has it in her, don’t tell me you’ve never unleashed on everything OR on everyone that way huh?”
Buffy remained silent and Faith went on, “That’s what I thought. Violence; that’s our world, not something we can stay away from.”
“Doesn’t mean we have to over use it for nothing.”
“For nothing? Is that what you think? Because sorry but me thinking... Girl dead, now alive; not a nothing thing. This is kinda big like you said so my thought, her reaction was quite ok considering the situation.”
Buffy sighed again and Faith moved closer,
“Come on, Buffy, don’t you get the bad vibe out of all of this? Not for nothing the bringers tried to off Kennedy first. My guess she was kind of a threat to The First’s plan.”
“Tara is not The First.”
“This is not Tara.”
“Yes it is, it’s her, you haven’t seen her, and you don’t even know her.”
“Yes and that’s a good thing cause my guess, again, is that you all really loved her very much, SO much that now, none of you really want to doubt it’s her. But I don’t know her, you’re right, and I will never know her because she’s dead. That’s sad but she IS.”
Buffy looked bothered and thoughtful then she asked,
“Rona and Vi told me about the tunnel, did- did the bringers really tried to kill her... I mean, more than the others?”
Faith nodded, “Definitely.”
Buffy shook her head after a while,
“Well, she’s alive and it didn’t prevent Willow from doing... that, so I’m sure it has nothing to do with The First. It’s just Tara anyway, how could it-“
“Buffy you-”
“No!”
They both stared at each other silently then Buffy went on,
“I can’t hear that, I mean, just go talk to her and you will see that there is nothing wrong. Willow is fine and Tara is gonna help us, the two of them, with them we stand a chance against The First and right now this is all I want; to win that battle, no matter the price.”
Faith moved even more closely, taking Buffy’s wrists softly,
“You’re not alone, Buffy. I’m on your side. You know I came back for you- I mean, to help you.”
Buffy was silent and Faith said very low,
“I heard what you told me... I guess it’s even maybe what woke me up.”
Buffy slightly looked aside, embarrassed, “I-I, it’s-“
“I’ll be with you till the end, Buffy. If the end is tomorrow then it’s tomorrow, I’ll be there with you all the way. I have no other reasons to be I guess... That’s one of the many things I thought about all day long in my cell so I know it; I don’t need to be if it’s not on your side.”
Buffy stayed silent, not knowing what to say. Faith walked back a little, continuing more assured,
“So count on me for the battle, but I’m not Spike.”
Buffy frowned, not understanding so Faith went on,
“I won’t say Amen to everything you say because you said it, and you can also count on me to kick your ass if you make bad-stubborn-choices, because if you get killed cause of them B I swear I- well, I wouldn’t be able to kill you then but I promise to ruin your eternal-heavenly-life, be sure of that.”
Buffy couldn’t help a little smile.
“You’re the one, the one we all want and need to lead us, I’m down with that and... I need you too in this, Buffy.”
Faith walked to the door and she added as she turned around,
“But this girl down there; not your friend.”
Faith left the room, leaving a very perplexed Buffy behind her. Every words Faith told her kept echoing in her mind. She hadn’t expected her to say any of that.
~~~
Kennedy decided to stay in her room to think, it was too early to be able to face the two witches and act casual about it. Willow and Tara stayed locked up in the basement for the rest of the day. They only showed up very late, after the potentials had eaten and gone either to the rooms or outside in the garden. Willow made sure there was only their little core around when they arrived.
Xander smiled, “Hey girls, how are you doing?”
Willow smiled back, “We’re fine.”
She headed to the fridge and Tara followed as they were holding hands.
Buffy moved closer to them,
“There’s pasta or pizza, and also chips.”
Willow looked at Tara who nodded,
“Pasta’s perfect.” Willow said.
Buffy put the cold pasta’s in the microwave and started setting the table, she put five plates and Willow frowned,
“You guys haven’t eaten already?”
“Most of us have; potentials, Anya, Andrew and Giles, Faith of course, never been the patient type when it comes to food, well let me think, not the patient type at all.”
Xander smiled and Willow too but more nervously and she asked,
“What about you?”
“We wanted to wait a little more. Just to be with you... both, you know, just like old times. Dawn didn’t eat either, she must be upstairs, I’ll call her.”
Willow gave a nod but couldn’t help feeling ill at ease. Tara slightly squeezed her hand reassuringly without showing any hesitations on her face.
~~~
They
settled around the kitchen’s table and started eating, silently
first then slowly starting to discuss about banalities then about The
First.
In the meantime Faith was in the living room, she’d
been expressing her doubts to Giles for a while and she was now
observing the little gang talking, sometimes smiling, and even
laughing at one of Xander’s joke. Faith was very focused on the
two witches but also on the others. All acting like nothing had
happened, all trying SO hard to not mention anything
about the spell Willow cast and... the consequence; Tara’s
return. Then Faith decided to move forward to them. Tara saw her and
silently watched her coming towards them. Willow gulped a little at
Faith’s gaze on Tara. The two girls stared at each other. Tara
looked at her in her most natural shy-girl gaze. Faith half-smiled
then sat at the table with them. Buffy felt ill at ease and Willow
hesitantly tried,
“Hi Faith.”
“Hey Red, how’s it doing?”
Willow cleared her throat while Faith picked some chips in Xander’s plate.
Willow asked still hesitantly, “Err fine, err, I thought you'd already eaten?”
Faith smiled, “You know me, I’m always hungry.”
Faith winked provocatively at Buffy who cleared her throat too, then Faith added staring at the dark-blonde witch,
“I thought I might spend a little time with all of you there... and also, new girl here, haven’t been properly introduced; I’m Faith and you are?”
PART 10
Faith picked some more chips in Xander’s plate.
Tara smiled, “Yes, I remember you, I-I’m Tara.”
Faith sat back indifferently in her chair and looked at her for a short while with an amused grin while the others were all silent, then she said very casually,
“That’s one cool thing... magic.”
She picked more chips, still acting very casually then she sat up more straight into her chair and looked interested,
“So red, tell me about that spell you did. I think I should know more about magic, really cool stuff.”
Everyone was still ill at ease, not knowing if Faith was being ironic or if she was really serious. Willow looked embarrassed while Faith kept looking at her with expectant eyes.
“Err it was, it was... a spell.”
“Oh come on red, tell me, I wanna know.”
Then she quickly added,
“Ok I guess you must be tired of telling the story again and again cause I’m sure everyone here already asked you thousands of times about it, didn’t they?”
It was obvious now that Faith was ironic, they were all very uncomfortable, and Faith knew for sure none had asked anything about the spell.
Buffy
started, “It was a rough day for everyone. I think we should
all get some sleep now.”
Faith smiled, “And miss the tale? Come on B, I’m sure you’re dying to know.”
Willow pulled herself together a little,
“It was a spell in some book.”
“Some book?”
“A witchcraft book.”
“And what else?”
“Just resurrection and stuff.”
“Like those you’ve already read thousands of times, like those making-zombies and stuff books?”
“No it was... different.”
“How different?”
Faith kept pushing her. Willow didn’t reply and Faith went on,
“I’d like to see that book; can you show it to me?”
“Err I-I-“ Willow was stammering and Tara said,
“She can’t, I believe she left it at the cemetery. I wanted to see it too but she doesn’t have it anymore.”
“Well, well! I say! How easy." Faith said with irony before adding,
“But then tell me, what was different in that book? And why didn’t you do it earlier, Willow?”
“I didn’t have i-“ Willow stopped and corrected,
“I mean, I didn’t see that passage before, it was unclear I guess, I wasn’t really... anyway what matters is that she’s back and she’s ok.”
Faith looked at Tara,
“She looks ok indeed, so Tara, the others told me you didn’t remember anything, do you now?”
“No.”
“No?”
“It’s all blank in my mind, like I was never gone.”
“Like she went to sleep and woke up the next morning. Simply.” Willow completed, hoping to stop that talk but Faith didn't seem out of questions.
“One year later that is, and the thing is that... she did not go to sleep.”
Tara smiled, “Well I think I will now, I’m kind of tired.”
Faith went on ignoring Tara's comment,
“So Tara, what do you think of Willow’s spell, I believe you were kinda against these kinds of spells before, right?”
Tara slightly frowned then smiled again,
“Actually I don’t know much about it.”
“You’re telling me Willow didn’t tell you, or rather, you didn’t ask how she brought you back?”
“Faith.” Buffy said but Faith continued,
“Come on you guys, this is interesting, she kept Willow locked up all day long in that basement and you didn’t talk about THAT?”
Willow looked at Buffy for help but Buffy was thoughtful about it too.
“We talked about the situation here and stuff.”
“Stuff, I must say I’m disappointed, you know you could register the patent of a new thing here, you’d be rich in no time Red, bringing dead people back?”
“Faith, I think that’s enough now.”
Giles said as he was moving closer to the group but Faith didn’t stop,
“Come on I’m just interested, don’t you guys wanna know? You have to find that book Willow, hey! Wouldn’t it be great I could bring Finchy back and everything would be cool again, don’t you think?”
“Faith!” Buffy exclaimed as the evocation of Finch. Everything it brought back upset her too much.
Faith stared at her blonde counterpart, “I guess not then.”
Faith got up and stared at all of them,
“Because you know what? News flash children; dead people don’t come back and what is done... is done, and you have to live with it.”
Faith left the room. Willow got up in her turn with Tara and they left for the basement silently while the others remained in deep thoughts for a while, but they all went to sleep almost immediately after without speaking about it.
~~~
~The next morning~
The potentials were in the garden listening to Buffy who was speaking about the scythe and Caleb’s fear of it. Kennedy stayed with the other potentials during all the morning, from the wake up to lunch as they were now eating.
The main scoobies stayed in select committee and ate inside, Buffy, Xander, Dawn, Willow and Tara. Giles was outside too, eating with Anya and Andrew while Faith was closer to the potentials. Kennedy was very silent. She was talking to the other potentials when they were talking to her but otherwise, apart from Faith, she wasn’t talking to anyone. She was hugely avoiding any of the scoobies too.
Inside Dawn kept smiling all the time, she was so happy to have Tara back that she really erased any questioning. The others were still very thoughtful about it but the more time the two girls spent with them, the less space they allowed for doubts. How could it feel so good again and be wrong? And there was no way they could be misled, Tara was so... herself.
Right after lunch, in the little break off before they started training again, Buffy discreetly left the kitchen and walked towards Kennedy who was isolated in a corner, sitting against a tree, in her thoughts. Buffy came closer and Kennedy noticed her, she looked the other way hoping Buffy would pass her way but the slayer stood up in front of her,
“How are you doing?”
Kennedy didn’t even reply but looked at her in a oh-please-don’t-pretend-that-you-care-? way so Buffy squatted,
“I know how you feel, I know it’s hard but... it’ll get better ok?”
Kennedy still didn’t reply, she ignored her and Buffy looked hesitant,
“Kennedy I- well, do you- I mean.”
Kennedy stared at her in a spill-it-out way and Buffy finally asked,
“I asked the others, and Faith too, about the tunnel. They told me how the bringers and the Turok-Han kinda attacked you... a lot, why- why didn’t you tell me about it when I asked you the first time?”
Kennedy sighed and got up, “Like you’d have believed me anyway?”
And she left.
Buffy was very bothered.
~~~
Kennedy walked inside without any words. Seriousness only on her face. She was hurt, pain was obvious in every one of her movement, in her gaze and in her tone for anyone who would’ve taken the time to look at her, or talk to her. But Kennedy kept avoiding them all, knowing she wasn’t their matter and she had no intend on sharing it with them, Faith was the only exception though.
The young potential briefly took sight of Xander, Dawn and Tara talking... Tara, Kennedy immediately turned her head the other side and walked upstairs to avoid seeing her; one second was already too much. She was in her thoughts as she was walking in the corridor; she opened the door and was face to face with Willow who was going out from it. They both froze for a while then Kennedy’s sad gaze came back and Willow felt very upset
“I’m sorry.” The witch tentatively tried.
Kennedy just stared at her with her deep-intense gaze, Willow felt her chest rose. She slightly cleared her throat and added,
“I didn’t mean to lie to you or play or- I’m really sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, Kennedy.”
Willow looked at her with pleading eyes. Kennedy slightly bent her head sideways, staring at Willow with a gaze full of curiosity, as if she was observing, searching the redhead’s mind, trying to read her. Willow felt even weirder.
Kennedy raised her hand to the witch’s face, Willow had a slight backwards move but let the brunette’s hand reach her cheek; she felt her chest rose even more. Kennedy’s gaze and attitude was so strange. Willow slightly looked aside before speaking,
“I-I, you may think I don’t but I do care for you, and I know you can’t forgive me but-“
“Are you happy?”
Willow was stopped in her track by Kennedy’s sentence, it wasn’t really a question, it wasn’t a I’ll-be-fine-as-long-as-you-are-happy tone either, it was... hard to describe as Willow felt it, but the thing is, she found herself unable to reply. She screamed inwardly at the fact she had not replied immediately that she was, but the words definitely didn’t want to come out and Willow felt even worse and thoughtful about it. Kennedy gently caressed her cheek with a gaze full of love and concern and Willow felt her heart melt once again.
“Willow?!”
The witch was brought back to reality and moved backwards all of
a sudden at Tara’s voice calling her name. The dark-blonde
witch appeared at the top of the stairs. Kennedy didn’t turn
her head to look at her; she was still staring at Willow. Tara
frowned at the sight of Kennedy and Willow staring at each other
silently like that.
“Willow, are you coming baby?”
“Yes, yes I am.”
Willow moved forward, passing by the brunette potential who, once the two girls were gone, closed her eyes tightly, breathing deeply before entering the room, alone.
PART 11
Tara and Willow were still in the stairs when Tara stopped.
“Are you ok Willow?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
Willow’s face expressed the contrary and Tara could easily see it,
“Is it about Kennedy? Did she tell you something? What did you two talk about?”
“Nothing, she didn’t say much and... don’t worry I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. I know you care about her, but you can’t let her use that to divert you from what we have to do.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, The First, we have to defeat it. You’re the only one who can do it and I can help you Willow.”
“Really not sure about that but, what I meant was what do you mean by let her divert me? She wants to beat The First as much as we do.”
Tara held Willow’s hands,
“She’s young, proud and probably in love; makes people skip the big picture sometimes. That’s why you can’t encourage her, she’s strong and she’ll get over it, I know that.”
“How could you? You don’t know her, I mean, she’s not that tough, you know. That’s a face she likes to put on first, but deep down she’s very soft and tender but... she doesn’t let much people see that.”
Tara squeezed Willow’s hands again,
“She’s a warrior inside, in the end it’s always about conquests and fights. She’s gonna be a slayer Willow, you know what it did to Buffy, so you know what it’ll do to her... She has another life waiting for her. All we can do is try to make it the easiest possible for her. That’s what we can do, and we can do it by magic, that’s the only way you can help her, the rest is not up to you, you’re both different Willow, you know that, but us... You and me Willow, we can make a difference. With magic.”
Willow turned her head the other side, “I don’t trust myself anymore... If you knew-”
“I know, Willow.”
Willow frowned and Tara added quickly,
“I mean, I can imagine what you went through, what I would’ve done if it were you, lying dead in my arms I’d-“
“You would have never done what I did. You didn’t have the same connection with magic. I was so wrong, for so long.”
“No Willow, you were right, you were powerful and-“
“I almost destroyed the world.”
“You were in pain, it’s understandable.”
“How can you say that? I killed people Tara, I have blood on my hands. I don’t even know how I can look at myself in the mirror and even less how you can. You warned me so many times, you knew and I... let it take hold of me. I lost-”
“-One battle but you won the war; you got over it and it’s for the greater good now. Sometimes you have to do bad things for a greater purpose.”
Willow couldn’t help but frowning inwardly, Tara moved closer with a gentle gaze,
“I don’t want to scare you. I trust you Willow, you can beat this thing and we can be together, so happy together... forever. I just-... don’t you want... don’t you love me anymore?”
“God Tara I love you so much.”
Willow immediately held her tight, “I love you so much. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just so confusing.”
Tara held her too with a smile,
“Hey that’s ok, we’re together now. Always will be. It’s gonna be alright just... forget about everything else and we’ll make it alright baby, believe me.”
“I do, I do.”
Willow held her very tight. Tara led them to the basement to talk to her some more.
~~~
The
potentials were gathered around the barbecue Xander had improvised in
the garden, thinking that it might cheer up the moods.
Willow and
Tara were still in the basement. Spike was under the porch talking
with Buffy. Kennedy was sitting on a bench close to the exit of the
garden. She had her feet on it too, legs bent with her arms around
the tibias. She was looking up at the blue sky slowly fading to
darkness.
Faith was on her way to Kennedy, she was smoking a cigarette,
“Hey.” she just said, Kennedy turned her head and smiled,
“Hey.”
Then she looked back at the sky and Faith looked up for a while before talking again,
“You should go eat something before there’s nothing left, it’s really good, you know.”
“Not hungry.” Kennedy replied softly, still looking at the sky.
Faith moved closer,
“Hey, remember what I told you junior?”
Kennedy sighed, “Does it matter?”
Faith frowned, she pushed Kennedy’s legs aside and sat in front of her, straddling the bench,
“Hey look at me. What does that mean? You’re not gonna give up, are you?”
Kennedy looked down,
“Maybe there’s nothing to give up. I think I was stupid and foolish... again, to think I could... to think she could love me... more than, love me, just love me. She never...” Kennedy trailed off and Faith lifted her chin with a serious expression on her face,
“Never thought you would be a quitter. It’s even worse, you’re not just giving up, you’re giving up on her.”
“No!”
Faith smiled, pleased with the automatic response of Kennedy but the young brunette added,
“I don’t, I love-“ she looked aside then back at Faith and added,
“But I just think that maybe I- maybe I’m wrong, maybe I wanted to believe there was a problem with Tara just because it was easier than admitting she was back and would always be the one for Willow and I... I never will be.”
Faith nodded slightly while saying,
“I see. I understand that, but there is no way what is happening with Tara and Willow is right. And you know it. I think you’re just very tired but you know it, Willow needs your help. She is confused by that... thing and she needs us to see right through it. You love her, if this was the best for her you’ll know it in your heart and you would let it be but you don’t, because you know it’s wrong, Willow’s gonna get hurt, this is why we have to keep fighting, ok?”
Faith lifted Kennedy’s chin again and Kennedy finally smiled,
“Yes, yes you’re right, I know I-“ she paused then just said,
“Thank you. Means a lot to me to have... someone who-“
“Understands.” Faith ended the sentence and they both smiled, knowing.
Then a huge thunder reverberated in the sky and several flash of lightning pierced the sky It was immediately followed by another big thunder echoing. Everyone stood up in the garden. Buffy was looking at the sky but it seemed quiet now. She frowned, Spike glanced at her, it was dark now outside, the blonde vampire said,
“Might be a good idea to get them inside just in case.”
Buffy moved closer and Xander understood,
“Ok girls, dinner’s inside.”
They all started to package foods while still discussing. Faith and Kennedy were still further in the back. Faith put her hand on Kennedy’s shoulder comfortingly and then got up. Kennedy got up too, that’s when Buffy shouted,
“Faith!”
The dark slayer turned around just in time to see two big electricity poles crashing through the garden’s fence and falling right on them. Faith, with her slayer reflex had the time to avoid one but Kennedy just had the time to turn around and slightly move away before being hit by it and falling on the ground while the other electricity pole was falling right on her. Faith jumped and managed to get her out of the way very fast before the pole crashed heavily on the ground. Xander, Andrew, Anya and the other scoobs were hurrying the potentials inside while Spike and Buffy rushed to the brunettes. Faith was slowly getting up, Buffy took her by the waist and shoulder while Spike picked up the unconscious potential on the floor and they headed inside too.
“Everyone one move!” Spike exclaimed as he entered the kitchen who was crowded by the anxious potentials, they all moved away and the slayers and him entered the living room at the same moment Willow and Tara were leaving the basement as they'd heard the noise.
Willow’s eyes widened with fear, “Kennedy! God Ken-“
She meant to rush to Kennedy but was stooped by Tara. Spike laid Kennedy on the couch. Buffy and Anya were already around her. Faith was just behind. Tara kept holding Willow back and forcing her backwards,
“Don’t, don’t Willow.”
“I have to see her. My God she’s-“
“Fine, she’s fine, Willow.”
“How would you know?!” Willow kept looking at Tara with shock and plea.
Tara gently told her, “I can feel it, she’ll be fine, don’t go.”
“But she’s hurt, she needs-“
”Them. Look, they’re all around her, nothing more you can do.”
Willow looked very upset,
“But I should be. I mean, it would be nice for her if I was there, just there.”
“No it wouldn’t baby. Remember what we talked about? Don’t let her believe she has any chances with you, it wouldn’t be fair, it would only distract her and lead her to get hurt. You need to stay with me, Willow. I’m the one who needs you, Willow. I’m still... very confused and I need you by my side.”
Tara's voice was very low and soft and she swallowed as if was about to cry. Willow felt so bad at that sight, she held her tight,
“I’m sorry. I love you so much baby.”
Tara smiled then led her upstairs while the others took care of Kennedy, still unconscious.
PART 12
Giles brought the first aid kit and some of the stuff Andrew and Anya had taken at the hospital. Buffy kept checking on Kennedy’s pulse. Anya, Dawn and Andrew had gotten the room rid of the other potentials by sending most of them in the basement.
Dawn moved closer, “Is she gonna be ok?”
“I don’t know, I think... I’d like- where’s Willow?” Buffy asked while lifting her head, surprised the redhead wasn’t already here.
Faith moved closer, taking Kennedy’s left arm,
“Forget about Will. Her shoulder is out of joint, B. Hold her still in case she moves.”
Buffy did so and Faith replaced Kennedy’s shoulder correctly. Anya was putting a bandage on Kennedy’s head where the pole hit her.
“I think she’s gonna be ok, it hit her mostly on her side, hence the shoulder, but it could’ve been worse.”
“If you hadn't been there.” Buffy told Faith.
Faith shrugged,
“Yeah, pretty strange these poles falling right there where we were, don’t you think?”
Buffy looked aside and Dawn retorted,
“Know what you're trying to say Faith but sorry, I don’t think the thunder is working with The First yet.”
The young Summers was, like the others, well aware of Faith and Kennedy’s distrust of Tara, and Dawn was for her part, more than eager to disagree so much she was happy to have Tara back. Xander intervened before any could reply,
“Maybe we should get her to the hospital?”
Anya let a sarcastic laugh out before replying,
“What for? No doctors there anymore, besides, we’ve just stolen everything we could from that damn hospital, so I for one say she’s better off here... well, one supposed she would be, normally.”
Buffy cleared her throat, suspicion was slowly getting into everyone’s minds and that was a bad thing. Buffy herself didn’t really know how to react or what to believe but in the meantime, it was leading them nowehere.
“Faith and I are gonna watch over Kennedy alternately, you should all go to sleep now, we’ll figure out something in the morning.”
Faith sat beside the young brunette while the others more or less reluctantly left except for Xander and Giles who stayed with them for a few minutes.
The boys then went to do some coffee. Buffy kept looking at Faith; the dark slayer was focused on Kennedy, checking every five minutes that she was still breathing. She sighed and slowly brushed a lock of hair away from Kennedy’s forehead. Buffy was still looking at her doing so.
“You like her.” The blonde girl asked in a low voice.
Faith
looked at the blonde slayer, she was surprised by the question, and
not really sure about the meaning, she didn’t reply. Buffy
didn’t say anymore words; she went to drink coffee with the
boys.
Kennedy was beginning to move, her eyes were still closed,
“Willow, Willow.”
“It’s ok, it’s ok, Kennedy.”
Kennedy struggled to open her eyes,
“Willow.”
“It’s just me, it’s Faith, Kennedy.”
“Willow, where's Willow?”
“She’s fine she’s-” Faith trailed off while Kennedy put her hand on her head, grimacing with pain.
“It’s gonna be ok, Kennedy.”
“I need Willow.”
“I know, she’ll be here... soon, it’s gonna be ok.”
A tear fell from Kennedy’s eye, Faith felt so bad at that sight. Buffy was at the entrance of the living room, observing the scene, her heart clenched too at the obvious pain and distress of the young girl. Kennedy tried to move but her shoulder hurt her so much she gave out a cry and started to really cry,
“She’s not here... she won’t be here, with me.”
“It’s gonna be ok.”
Faith didn’t know what to do, she tried to gently caress the brunette’s face but it didn’t stop the sobbing.
Faith got up to walk to Buffy who told her, “You stay with her, I’ll be back.”
Faith held Buffy’s arm,
“No wait, where're you going?”
“I have an idea; I need to see if it works.”
“Not without me.”
“It’s ok I can take care of myself, besides I think-“ Buffy looked at Kennedy then added,
“You’re needed here, just stay with her, it’ll be good for her besides I need someone to protect the girls.”
“Spike is here, what’s your plan? And what did you mean by it’d be good for her?”
“Faith don’t make it hard, I just need someone strong enough here that’s all.”
“Yeah, said that already, then again I say Spike is here.”
Buffy talked a little lower than usually as she said,
“Look, I’m not saying I believe that but if Kennedy’s really more in danger than the others then... I’d rather have you stay here with her, and you want to stay with her anyway... don’t you?”
Faith was a bit surprised again by Buffy’s tone and the almost-hesitant tone the last words were asked. She stayed calm and lightly smiled before saying nicely,
“I like her Buffy, but not that way. I hope that answer your question and any further.”
Buffy couldn’t help a little smile then a little blushing before clearing her throat,
“Anyway, you understand her in a way that I obviously don’t, and I think that’s what she needs right now; someone who understands her. Someone on her side whether there’s really sides to be on which I still don’t believe is the case but... she needs you, so you should stay with her ok?”
Faith looked worried and said in the same low tone Buffy had used, “If anything happens to you Buffy I-I...” She was searching for her words,as if she was scared of them.
Buffy took her hands and gently squeezed it, “I know... but I’ll be fine.”
She started walking backwards, slowly letting go of Faith’s hands, a shiver went through the brunette’s body when she did so. Faith inhaled deeply then went back to taking care of the young potential by sitting on the couch beside her and trying to calm her down.
~~~
Kennedy
finally calmed down after a while and rested her head on Faith’s
lap while the brunette slayer was gently stroking her hair.
It
was now the middle of the night, Kennedy started to move again and
Faith helped her as she was trying to sit. They both stayed silently
looking by the window for a while.
“It’s happening again.” Kennedy whispered.
Faith didn’t say anything; she just waited for Kennedy to continue, to free her mind as she knew she was holding back a lot. Kennedy spoke again after a while, but it was a question for Faith,
“Does being a slayer make you tougher?”
Faith shrugged, “Dunno, well, yes I suppose it does, why do you ask?”
“Because then I know why I really have to be one some day.”
“It won’t prevent you from getting hurt, you know.”
“Maybe but look at you, and Buffy, the way she cuts herself from us, from death... and what about you? What happened to mess things up that way with Buffy some years ago?”
“Wanna know what happened? Let’s say that, slayers or not; we’re still humans, and humans’ feelings, those are the things that hurt.”
“Why do we have to feel that way? I swore to myself that I would never feel that again, never let these feelings take hold of me... why is it so hard to keep the control?”
“Let me tell you something, the more you try to control things, the harder they will slip out of your control when they will cause believe me, they ALWAYS do.”
“I’m just tired of losing everything.”
Faith frowned, “And duh you wanna be a slayer?”
Then she added more seriously,
“Just tell me the story, Ken; I think you’ll feel better after that.”
Kennedy looked sad; she looked by the window.
“Her name was Lisa, she was... my everything. We were so close, always had been since kindergarten, she was the only one apart from my family who knew who I was, well, who I was supposed to become. I guess she is, and always will be my endless love.”
Faith waited a while before asking, “What happened?”
“She died, we were fifteen. She had a cancer. It used to cast her aside from the other teens, and my personal secret tend to make me an outisder too, guess that’s why we always connected so much together. I used to tell her everything, talking together about every crushes of ours, boys for her, girls for me. I kept pretending but I was never going for anyone, she knew she was the only one I wanted to be with and it wasn't bad at all; it was pure, intense friendship, the closest relationship I ever had with anyone. She was my best friend, she was so bright and it was so unfair. She had so much to live for; instead she had to go to hospital again and again, each time longer than the previous. Spending birthdays, Christmas even.... And suffer, and die... And I was so angry because I couldn’t do anything. My only joy when she died was that she wasn’t suffering anymore. But I’ve been missing her so much ever since. And I told myself I could never let someone mean so much to me again but then... it happened again, two years after, I was seventeen. I had been focusing entirely on my training since Lisa died but I met this girl and I didn’t want to but I fell in love with her. She was my first girlfriend. It was no way close to what Lisa and I shared but I was in love all the same. The thing is that, she was just using me, being with me for the money in my pockets, for the free movies, free rides and stay in the country, the jewels and gifts and stuff like that. I knew it, everybody knew it but these Goddamn feelings wouldn’t let me break up with her. I think someone, probably my watcher did something, talked with her, scared her or I don’t know what but one day she broke up with me all of a sudden. I knew it was better and I’m thankful for my watcher to have done that, but it was over again... From then I started to choose the girls, the relationship, the lasting and I thought I’d succeeded, no more loss but then... I lost her, I lost my watcher whom I’d respected more than my parents, and now it’s happening all again. I thought I’d picked Willow but in fact, she picked my heart, she stole it but didn’t keep it with her and honestly I really don’t know where it is now... and I don't want it back. I don’t want to hurt like that. I would’ve given her everything but... she wants none.”
Faith caressed her face gently,
“I understand, I understand so much.”
“Right now, I’d just... I would just rather be dead.”
Kennedy simply squeezed herself into the older brunette’s arms and Faith held her tight. They stayed a while like that.
PART 13
The young potential, completely worn out by her memories and her injuries fell asleep and she and Faith slowly slid on the couch on their sides during their sleep.
Faith’s back was against the back of the couch and the young brunette was pressed on her, back against her chest. Faith’s arm was across Kennedy’s waist and resting on her stomach.
Faith was awake, she'd only dozed off for a minute. Too many thoughts were crowding her mind; the thing going on with Willow, Tara and Kennedy. Buffy still being outside. Plus her talk with Kennedy had awakened some old memories in the dark slayer’s mind; Buffy was the centre of them all. Faith was very worried about the fact the blonde slayer wasn't home yet.
And there was the young brunette lying in her arms right now. The strong connection she felt with her despite her will since the beginning. Faith couldn’t help looking at her and couldn't find sleep. Kennedy turned around at that moment, putting her hands on the dark slayer’s chest and waist and pressing one thigh slightly against Faith’s crotch in the process. Faith took a deep breath and tried to look elsewhere, it had been a long while since she... she shook this thought out of her head but couldn’t help staring at the younger brunette sleeping in her arms.
She reached for her face and caressed her cheek with her fingertips, slightly brushing against the potential's lips. Kennedy opened her eyes at that moment. They didn’t move and stared at each other, dark brown eyes staring intensely into one another.
An intense and heavy atmosphere, heavy breathing as well as they seemed to be waiting. Faith was well aware of her own sexual desire and she knew she would’ve needed less than this to screw someone not so long ago, but she was inwardly very glad that she did have regain a certain amount of control on herself now. She was able to think properly, she knew it wasn’t about what was wrong or right, she would not stop having sex when she felt like it, even if it was just meaningless sex, but she would not do something that would lead to bad consequences, and with Kennedy that’s what it would do. That’s not what she needed. It would only lead to more trouble for all of them. As if Kennedy could understand her thoughts she closed her eyes again and simply laid her head on the older brunette’s chest. Faith smiled inwardly and just put her arm on the young girl’s back and finally closed her eyes.
~~~
Kennedy opened her eyes an hour later, Faith was awake too. Kennedy slowly propped herself on her good elbow to look at the dark slayer. They both slightly smiled, Kennedy hesitantly asked,
“Faith I- I’m sorry if you, if I said or... I mean-“
Faith put a finger on the young brunette’s lips,
“It’s ok; you don’t need to say anything. I think we both understand each other.”
Kennedy nodded and Faith removed her finger, they both inhaled very deeply at the same time so it made them smile and Faith jokingly said,
“Not our faults we’re so hot.”
They slightly laughed this time but then Kennedy looked more serious,
“Why are you so worried?”
“I’m not.”
Kennedy raised her brows and Faith admitted,
“Ok I am... a little bit, but who isn’t in this house?”
“It’s not the same. They’re scared, we’re all scared but you. You just take what comes to you, battles, death fights, it’s like you’re ready, or like accepting it. You just do what you have to do but it’s different right now, when it’s about Buffy. She’s been out all night and you haven’t been able to sleep at all.”
Faith didn’t try to hide anything,
“Yes, it’s always different when it's about Buffy.”
“Why don’t you tell her?”
“Tell her what?”
“Your feelings.”
Faith smiled,
“There is nothing to say. Buffy and I, we’re somehow clear with each other on that matter, she already knows like I know too. We have a love for each other that’s innate. Now that we’re able to handle it and not trying to bury it, we’re able to stay on the same side, in the same room even.” Faith said with a joking tone before going on,
“But there’s nothing else to say. It’s not a girlfriend-type of love; we have nothing to build on that level. It’s just there, this feeling, but it doesn’t bring anything else.”
Kennedy looked curious and perplexed at the same time,
“How do you do? How can you control your feelings like that? I mean, I’m sure you’ve never loved anyone like you love her. Why don’t you, how can you...“ Kennedy stopped and Faith gave her a you’re-so-young-and-so-innocent gaze before saying,
“Clearly, I’ve never loved anyone at all but, think about it, Lisa and you, there was a closeness none could have ranked with and you didn’t need to say or want more. Well B and I, it’s kind of the same thing but in a different way. Ok I know this sentence just sounds wrong, doesn’t it?”
Kennedy looked thoughtful,
“No, it sounded perfectly right. I think I get it, yes I do.”
Then the potential asked, “But then, where’s happiness in all of this?”
Faith took a deep breath,
“I don’t really know. Not sure I’ve really been happy once in that life or maybe happiness is just these little moments when you’re feeling alive, when you’re feeling that you’re doing the right thing and liking it as you feel you really have a purpose in this life, maybe it's that; happiness.”
“You get these moments when you’re fighting on her side, right?”
Faith nodded honestly so then Kennedy asked,
“But aren’t you afraid of losing it all again? These moments, losing her trust again, everything... cause nothing lasts.”
Faith had a hard time thinking of the right words,
“We don’t have the same history, Kennedy. I don’t have the same rapport to loss than you do. I-“ Faith trailed off, she looked hurt but then self confident again as she went on,
“Very long ago, like, in another life time, I lost something huge; my innocence, thanks to someone I didn’t choose, at a moment I didn’t choose either and in a way I certainly didn’t choose either.”
Kennedy looked down, understanding Faith’s painful secret,
“I’m sorry Faith.”
Faith lifted the brunette’s chin,
“It’s ok. The thing is, I did just the same thing you tried to do, being in control of everything related to my body and my feelings, only I succeeded more than you did.”
Faith joked with a wink to let Kennedy know she was ok, and then she added on the same light tone,
“But if that can comfort you, I succeeded better only to fail even harder later when I finally couldn’t control these feelings anymore, these connections with people... with her and see the result, so... overall, you handled your life pretty good to me.”
Kennedy couldn’t help but smile and the door opened, they turned their head and Buffy was there; looking at them being very cosy and close on the couch, hands on waists. She didn’t really know what to think or if she had to think something about it. She was holding the scythe she’d stolen to Caleb and she looked a bit worn out. Faith moved away and Kennedy eased her the way out of the couch willingly.
Faith moved closer while saying all at once,
“Did-you-fight?-We-were-just-talking-Are-you-ok?”
Buffy shook her head,
“No, err yeah, I got into a fight.”
Buffy went to the kitchen and Faith followed while Kennedy slowly got up and walked upstairs as to go freshen herself in the bathroom.
“So what’s the what, B?”
Buffy sat at the table; Faith put a cup of coffee in the microwave for the blonde girl then sat beside her. Buffy had put the scythe at the centre of the table and looked up at Faith with a wicked gleam in her eyes.
Faith smiled, “No way.”
Buffy nodded with the same smile, “Yes way. Caleb; history.”
“I would never say that if I wasn’t so tired but can I tell you how much I love you right now?”
They both smiled with a knowing gaze then Faith quickly moved on the topic,
“So how did you do? God, this scythe’s a miracle.”
“Yes it is. I went to that place Giles told me about and I learnt more about it then Caleb showed up and... I guess I needed to unleash a little bit.”
Faith raised her brows, “Poor guy.”
They slightly smiled before Faith asked for more details.
In the meantime upstairs Willow was asleep but Tara wasn’t. She was roaming her hand on Willow’s stomach and gently kissing her neck, getting the witch out of sleep. Willow opened her eyes and Tara kissed her deeply, slightly moving on top of her. Tara then kissed her neck again but Willow tried to pull her away just a little,
“Baby, baby? I don’t think it’s-“
“It’s the perfect time, Willow. We’re alone in the room for once.”
“Yes but-“
“Haven’t we waited long enough? Haven’t you waited long enough? I crave for your touch Willow and I crave to creep under your skin. I need to hear you scream my name and feel you mine, completely.”
Tara’s voice was already very ragged. Willow was both aroused by her tone and scared, things were so confusing. It had been so long... They had not done it yet since Tara had come back, mainly due to Willow’s reluctances. Tara had been very gentle so far. But right now her hand was already pressed on Willow’s sensitive spot and the redhead took deeper breaths, she tried to speak,
“But, the others, we can’t, they’re close.”
“They’re sleeping, don’t worry, let me love you like before.”
Tara started circling Willow’s clit and Willow surrendered, she held her tight,
“I love you so much, Tara. I can’t believe you’re here, you’re really here.”
Tara moved on top of her,
“Yes my love I am, let me take you like only I can.”
Willow held her tight,
“Let’s just close the door” she meant to sit but Tara held her still on the bed,
“Don’t bother, baby.”
“But if someone comes and ooh-“
Tara slid a finger inside of her and Willow surrendered completely while Tara whispered,
“They’re all downstairs... I know it.”
Willow moaned and closed her eyes. Tara gave a slight look aside at the door before looking back at Willow and whispering into her ear while pressing her thumb against the redhead’s clit,
“Tell me how much you love me, tell me again, I need to hear it.”
“Yes, God, Tara. I love you, God, so much, please oh God Tara.”
Tara smiled wickedly. Behind the opened door was Kennedy, standing straight, unable to move forwards or backwards, her face pale and looking dismantled as Willow’s moans and whispers of love to Tara echoed in her mind.
She
started moving backwards motionlessly after a while.
Go
to 
Back to
